XINYI ' s

2011-12-27T17:49:00.008+08:00

The pictures i posted is in reverse chronological order :/

Hehe merry belated christmas!

I had an eventful weekend spending time with all the groups of people i <3 the most!

Really happy and New year i'm gonna meet them again! teeheee :D

Christmas.

i spent it with the netballers :)

We went town to get present for our mortals.

Went back to yiwei's place and had pizza for dinner~

Then gift exchange and played games till 5am in the morning :D

heh, lemons!

We also had a belated wanlin's Bday surpise! She was really surprised! :P

Success V-V

Christmas eve was spent with the 2A peeps!

Its been so long since we last gathered. Since CNY man!

We met up in the evening.

Went to have dinner @ astons and caught a movie!

We bought a zoo. It was niceeeeeee in my opinion!

heh, i spilled ALOT of popcorns in the theater :(

Our countdown was really bad, i meant it wasnt what the guys wanted.

It was raining, super spoilsport.

But anyway i really dont want to enter the snowspray war yeah! Phew *_*

Although the ending wasnt like VERY merry, but i had a good day, good laugh with good company ~

I hope it was good for them too :D

This picture is funny, i left the picture when i had to take my food order. So yuzheng was left alone in the shot. looking stunned. HAHA

The eve of Xmas eve was spent with dearest Sister winnie <3

Went to bugis to get our presents~

Had late dinner with her @ sakae

Really love her to the max, and i really enjoy spending time together :)

heeee

AHA , thats the end.

Looking forward to countdown for new year, at the same time dreading 2012.

Will the world end? heh

regardless of what, i'll still need to stay less active my lappy for next year.

I can do it!

Ann yeong ^^

2011-10-31T15:48:00.003+08:00

HEY ITS MONDAY.

No blues today because i can literally rot @ home.

teeheeee, its their MT A levels today. It may come too late, but GOODLUCK :)

The best weekend,

Friday night stayed over @ alicia's place.

We went to shop for food then proceeded to her place.

Its totally worth exploring at her place okay.

Firstly i took a ride on her igallop, then on her massage chair.

Until most of the people arrived, we went on to play mahjong.

So long since i last touched. Its still fun yea!

But our pace, is even slower than a snail i guess

From 11pm to around 4am.

HAHA i think we took turns to daze and lost our sense in between.

After MJ, went to her room where YT and i watched our very first episode of Running Man.

It was kinda funny but wasnt as impressive as what we imagined it to be. HAHA

But i like the Emcee thou, he hosted lotsa shows that i've watched

After an episode of Running man, i think all of them just concussed

So i went on to spend time watching WGM. Adam couple <3

I still have yet to get over the effects of WGM adam couple.

They're still the best that i've ever seen. SO meant for each other, so compatible.

Ahhhhhh <3

After around 7 plus 8 plus, we left alicia's place and went to lot1 for breakfast.

I was about to die when i alighted the bus because took a light nap on the bus.

I can stand it without sleeping, but once i doze off, the sleep bug will haunt me :P

We then went to syaf's house to prepare the food needed for later's picnic.

Made sandwiches and stuff and i sort of rehearsed my OP. beside the sleeping YT.

I think she can memorise my OP stuff already, might even be dreaming of it. HAHA

tooook 188 to habourfront and the whole journey was for me to catch up my sleep.

HAHA indeed it was a power nap.

Went to giant and got drinks then went to sentosa.

we just randomly settled under a tree with much shade and a nearby shelter. heh

then we played frisbee and stuff. YT's really good at it.

ahhhh, then we did the usual sentosa stuff yea.

*skips*

after bathing, we planned a surprise event for NAD using choco pie and build a "cake"

It was her belated bday event.

Haha, i think she dint expect that so it was kind of a success? heh

then we went back to vivo to have our dinnnnner!

just bought some random food and went to sit outside.

Just sat there and chilll and talk and crap and plan for our chalet of next overseas trip.

Hehe,i love these times where we just sit down and talk. Lovely <3

We went home at 8 plus and it concluded our lovely weekend together :)

2011-10-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

A week flew past me again.

I've been enjoying life, glueing on eyes on the laptop screen all related to BEG.

HAHA, crazy girl94 !

ohyeah, think imma in <3 with BEG.

why sho talented & prettty!!

ohhheyyyy, PW is ending.

and i always have to screw up my group's presentation.

ahhhh, i feel bad. i just CANT.DO.IT !

a few more practices before doing the real thing.

I&R in progress.

Next week is gonna be a less tense week i hope.

With wed being deepavali and tues being a self declared hol.

Gonnnna get back to my right track.

Oh! on a random note, rilakuma is DAMNNNN CUTEEEEE ley!!!

very <3333333333333333

ah, pluto is also cute :)

2011-10-15T01:22:00.002+08:00

Hiiiiiii, its 130am. I am upgrading to IOS 5.

teeheee

I am grateful that i've cleared promos.

And i know that its not the end because i still have another tough year to go.

Right now, i am really not in the right mind to get back to work.

I've been wanting to do my tutorials yet i just cant sit down and hold my pen.

ohno, this is bad :(

I really dislike the idea of having PW.

really really dislike it

theres always a reason why i land up in this school and not any polys out there.

presentation, you suck!

i cant wait to quickly get over this suckiest subject.

its toturing my life!!

I still have to rack my brains for the last part of it.

But i know before i realise it'll end :)

So, i better start. maybe tmr (HAHA)

end it well~

We dont know what the future holds for us,

what we can do is to make the current situation the most ideal for us.

My most ideal thing now is to hit bed.

Before cannot wake up tmr and be late for pw meeting.

Although the stuff we are discussing is sucky, on a good note, i shall enjoy my coffee @ starbucks tmr ya! :D

Nights, world :)

2011-10-06T20:53:00.002+08:00

Hey ya!

Promos is over and i feel like a free bird~! not exactly one but no stress :D

I dont want to think about the consequences when i receive my results because i want to enjoy the time i have!

My well deserved break after a hard year :)

Life is awesome and i am currently hooked on WGM the super duper cute adam couple!

I sleep at 4 am everyday for consec 2 days just to watch.I know i am slow, but ahhhhh, they are so CUTEEEEE!! ^^

Tmr school is gonna resume.. Halfway lah, tmr theres sexuality talk and bio lect after it. Then i am going to meet the girls in town :D

Super excited, heh

Ohyeah, life is happy and i will live the best out of it regardless whos here ; who left :)

2011-08-06T20:04:00.004+08:00

hey world.
This week has been a rather angsty week for me.
I guess cause i am too deprived of sleep.
And yes i took a mini revenge by sleeping for 16 hours last night.
Teeheeeee
other than not sleeping enough, i'm happier this week.
so happy to meet the girls ytd, i swear my cheeks are filled with lactic acid alr!!
and some other random days where i stayed back with some lovelies :)

i know i have a strange character and my moodswings.
I apologise for that and thank you for accepting these nonsense.

i am slowly settling down to where i were before the common test, before its too late.
I dont want regrets.

2011-07-26T21:44:00.003+08:00

Apathy
baby, thats the way :)

2011-07-25T20:42:00.004+08:00

its been sucha smooth day,
and the memory is getting more vague, i cant remember the details.
which i think is a good thing :)

heh i am glad to have you supporting me
love. n_n

i'll get through it~
stay strongggggggy
its 1 day past the week :D

2011-07-24T22:03:00.002+08:00

I've been so actively blogging because i need an outlet to talk.
to say thing that i wouldnt know how to put them into words to my friends.

I dont want to talk and i wont talk;
not because i have nothing to say but because i have too much to say;
and i dont know where to start and how to put them across.
i keep repeating repeating, i keep thinking about it.
Just because i have not get over those things.

i want to change my focus
i want to concentrate on something that gives me more positive energy.
i dont want my life to be in such a dump .

It's been a roller coaster week for me.
Tomorrow is monday, and i look forward to the start of a brand new week.
Brand new HOPE.
though in my heart i am still screaming for help, i will still face it :)

2011-07-23T21:56:00.002+08:00

I miss this stupid guy!

And this silly bitch who always do dumb stuff. HAHAHAHA

This month is a sucky for meeeeeeeeeee.
I'll thought through it and i WILL get through it.
If its meant to be hard, its either i'll die or struggle through it.
It could be a challenge for me since my life used to be quite smooth sailing.
Although i keep feeling like T_T T_T T_T
it'll end right,buddy? :)

Set my goals and imma gonna achieve it ;)
I am quite tired, K.O -ing soon.
how i wished weekends never end~

2011-07-19T21:33:00.002+08:00

when tears just roll down like nobody's business.
whenever i think of it, i cant help but feel a tinge of sadness.
its everywhere.
i know in this period, my emotion can be quite fucked up.
i have major moodswing
i can cry anytime.
negative emotions are all around me.
but i'll be fine. in some time later.
i will still be me, i need to recover.

2011-07-19T21:13:00.003+08:00

hey world.
i am so sick and tired of school life.
i feel like a primary school kid who dread school.
i mean i am really tired and damn DREADFULLLLLLLL :(
of just one or two people.
like this is the first time in my life that i hate school.. like seriously...
okay i am like an idiot ranting here.
but..
i am still grateful for those few people who are with me when i am super down in school. at least i still meet my favourite people in school :)

2011-06-04T14:30:00.002+08:00

HEY WORLD!

Our CIP project has ended, i believed people who attended it had benefited from it. We all took away values that re-enhanced its importance in our lives, we learnt from observing the little ones carry out their activities and we bonded together as a class.
The most important part is that i believe everyone had their share of fun and we all have went further in terms of our relationships. We are now better in terms of classmates and are able to have fun together. From what i've observed, most of us did not just merely treat this project as an obligation of a school work(maybe the preparation part yes, but the execution part no), we genuinely wanted to serve them. It was a BLAST! I had never expected it to be such a fun activity and i am glad that most of the people seem to enjoy themselves alot.
I need to acknowledge my deepest gratitude to Ms Lee who is will no longer be our CT when the term starts yet she still try and work so hard to make this project possible despite her busy work. Susin who could have taken a relax stance and wait for me to organize, however she helped me in all the preparation and liaising stuff to make it a success .
All the s05 mates who participated, without your participation it wouldnt have worked.
As well as trybe that gave us an opportunity to serve.

The big stone has now been relieved, no more worries about the undone CIP project.
Oh man, so my focus now is common test. My first week of holidays are just slacking and putting my time and effort in this project, so i'll need to work extra hard for the next 2 or 3 weeks to prepare my common test....
This is sad, but i will get through it :)

2011-05-22T22:43:00.009+08:00

HOWS LIFE IN JJ? aha, i dunno what to say about it. But i can say is that i've met awesome people there. Nothing beats this.

THIS ARE THE USUAL PEOPLE BRINGING ME JOY TO MY LIFE AND I LOOK FORWARD TO EVERY FRIDAY!~

NOT FORGETTING THE 4E-delights that i missed so much for the past months !

SO HERE MY PW GROUP MATES. EVERYONE IS CRAZY RETARD FUNNY AND LAGI BEST IN THEIR OWN WAYS! (Y)
.

OH, and from here its the 11S05 peeeeps!

that stupid korean that pangseh-ed us to fly to the states. HAHA

THE TRISOME THAT LIVED IN THEIR OWN WORLD. Happily ever after ~ <3

These alot of pictures summed up my jj life for the first 5 months. Theres more to come and i look forward to it! :D

2011-01-24T01:01:00.003+08:00

Hey, its been quite some time since i updated.
oh, 2010 has come to an end. 2011 started without me realising its almost a month.
Alas! The past month i've been rotting everywhere.
Practically most of the time in town with all those lovelies! :)
But i still feel as though i havent rest enough.
Maybe its post school anxiety.
And School is gonna start in 3 more days!

I need to get mentally prepared for school as well as to get school materials already!!
Ha-ha, i am SOOOOOO not excited! haiiis

OH!!
I have yet to set my new year resolutions~
Shall do it nowwwwwww :D

1. I hope i will enter the right school and be able to adapt to the environment
2. I hope my academic results will still be in the top 25% at the end of the year!!
3. I still want to stay in contact and be close to all the friends( WE WILL NOT DRIFT RIGHT!!)
4. Me to be hardworking and stop fooling around
5. Stay away from gambling and alcohol ~
6. Save $1000!!
7. Grow at least 2/3 more cm la!!
8. To still be in your life

I shall end it now!!
till the next post, take care! <3

2010-12-20T22:01:00.004+08:00

Hey !
Finally an update since O's ended...
There are still other pictures but i'm lazy to upload all.
Just the gist, its prom @ hilton.
Was awesome.
This post came a little too late, like one month later.
But at least its a proper update ok!
Well, 2010 is coming to an end.
What i'll be looking forward to is the christmas, genting trip yeah!! :D

The end of the post, loves~

2010-10-06T00:52:00.004+08:00

Hi world, its now 1255am.

Hows life for you?
My life, is basically, no life.
Everyday, it revolves around studying. And it seem so inseparable.
I have now developed this self conscious about the need to study everyday, and that i would not be able to sleep properly if I dont touch books for a day.
Its hell, its heaven.

Knowing that Os are coming in less than 1 month, bloody hell, i need more time!!
Knowing that all my friends are with me in this, we are working hard, and we will make it, its heaven. Freedom is coming right after this.
Freedom? Not exactly. After this, it is only like one quarter of our life accomplished? There are many many more stages to overcome.
But in these future stages, we wont have the same people to work hard with anymore. There are bound to be departures, so its such a bliss to work with them!

Meanwhile i will study hard~
I just want to say, to all my friends, thank you for being there always.
Always supporting each other morally and academically.
We are not left with much time to be together and have a common goal, i appreciate all the time spent with you guys, and i always enjoy myself. Hope you do too :)
So, right now, after this stupid post, i gotta get back to my work again. ( need to destress abit ah)
till the next time i post, hopefully all of you are on your way to success, and take care!

Loves, xinyi

2010-09-17T21:58:00.003+08:00

Hey people :)
Today's friday, but i have total no excitement.
Haha, i have no idea why too..

Had chemistry paper 1 today. It ended @ 9 . so i went for breakfast with the non-physics people.
Breakfast was niceeee :P
But just when we stepped out of bp, we were greeted by the dark sky.
I wanted to get back into school and play basketball...
But, it rained!!
haha, we were trying to cross the road and it just suddenly poured.
i had umbrella, but the downpour was in all directions.. haha. had no way to keep myself dry.
Walked quickly to the busstop and i missed the bus. Unlucky ttm!!

I was zoning out at the busstop.
The sound of the rain was loud, there was thunder almost every 3 mins or so. I was wet.
The bus finally came around 20 mins later.
I boarded the bus, throughout the journey, i just looked out of the window.
In the bus, it was way more comfortable than outside. I couldnt hear the sound of the rain, thunder. I see people walking by peacefully. I couldnt tell whats going on outside except the fact tt i saw raindrops.
After i alighted from the bus, i returned to the same situation as i was in the bus. Thunderous fall and wet.

Suddenly i just realised that actually this is a very common situation that we take no notice of.
too often we are in our comfort zones ( like the bus) viewing on things that are going on outside. Being comfortable, we happily will not consider to think in the shoes' of people. Just like i was in the bus, i knew it was raining. But i couldnt hear. Thinking that its just so peaceful. But when i alighted, i had to face a circumstance that i dint thought i will go through. Like being scared by the thunder and hit by the pelting raindrops.

This is so realistic in our world. Too often we think that we know what is going on. But the truth is that, we have never been through it, how are we suppose to know how exactly one would feel? Even though we empathize, but the struggle of the persona in their hearts, the difficulties they have to overcome, we can never be able to fully understand. So what we know the outline of a story? But isnt the minute details more important than the brief outline? So the people who are by-passers of every story, stop saying that you understand, because you dont unless you have went through it. And people we are caught in bad situations, dont immediately seek help. Try to straighten out all your thoughts, it doesnt mean its always bad when you face setbacks. Everyone will know that setbacks are inevitable and they will make you grow. When people says this, its crap because you think you will not be able to overcome it. But its a fact, once you have overcome it, you will start to realise the true meaning.
Just like when i was in the bus in such comfortable condition, people being caught in the rain will think that i will never understand how they were feeling at the point in time. True enough, i couldnt. But once i alighted, i could. Because i had went through it myself.
And here i am posting this because its something that i hope to remind myself. That whenever people are feeling down, i try to say things to make them feel better. I was wrong, i couldnt understand how they were feeling and how am i suppose to talk to them about all the politically correct ideologies? Haha, i think they might wanna slap me when i talk to them about it. But next time i will take a different approach i guess. Maybe letting them accept the truth is the most important thing. Because this is the only way to let them learn. There will be pain inflicted, but it will also go away.

We can empathize ; but we will never understand.

2010-09-05T23:22:00.002+08:00

The person who tells every one that he will be there for them.
The person who i thought gave in everything for us.
But after i read about the others, i thought that you are self-centered.

Maybe you need not care, maybe my expectations should not be high, but in the same position, why wont you care more?
Why did you not pay more attention? Why do you always make your words so cheap?
Why did you selectively chose people to care for?

If you had tried to be more concerned, perhaps i would not have left.
Perhaps i would still be in that team, happily being part of them.
But i think you did not want me to be in, you ignored me, for no good reason.
You ignored me when i injured my leg, you ignored me when i fell flat on the ground, and my blood was oozing out like nobody's business.
You said that it is common for me to fall every time, but does it mean that every time i fall, it does not hurt? Does it mean that every time i fall, there will not be a wound? Every time i fall, i will not have outgrown a exaggerated scar?
If you had tried to be more concerned, probably those ugly scars would not be here.
Or maybe next time if you want to say something, think twice, and mean it.
Or maybe next time if you do not mean something, do not say it out for the sake of saying.
I was young, i believed in your words, but every time i was left to sit outside, watching the play-on. Continue waiting for you to come over and help me.
But every time you will forget, just walking off without saying a word.
I used to think that it slipped off your mind, i was young and ignorant.
Just because of this, it inflicted so many scars.

If you had been more meticulous, you might have came and talked to me.
If you had thought of the big picture, you will come and persuade me.
But your choice was to stay out of this matter.
Do you know how hard it was to face you without talking about it?
Have you ever considered how terrible i felt?
But i was afraid to talk to you about it, cause i believe you have not noticed me.
Right from the beginning, you focused on the others.
Why? Just because of my physical appearance?
Or did i just simply lack what you look for?
I think you have failed in this aspect, you failed to have a overview of everyone.
It had never occurred to you that someone who hopes that you will pay attention to her performance will look forward to your scoldings or compliment of her performance. But you never did.
Remembering that you promised to back her up, you just simply forgot. Waiting for you to fulfill this promise, she tried and tried, harder each time.
But she was never recognized. She was always an extra, she was never mentioned. She was non-existent.
She was... then never passionate about this anymore.
She was tired of wanting to be into this team, was deprived the chance of.
She was fat and slow, she was ostracized, she was a nobody.
Had anyone see the effort put in by her?
Have anyone thought that she wanted to play as well as others? Have anyone thought that sprinting as fast as the others was tedious? Have anyone thought that doing physical was her worst nightmare? Cause she was different. She was 2 times their size. 2 times their weight.
They only viewed her as lazy, slow and clumsy. They had never thought in her shoes. She was left alone to struggle to fight for a place.
She never succeed. She never did.
Maybe she could, if she was encouraged.
But, is being ignored and see as non-existent forms of encouragement?
Cause the culture of the team was that only the best players are given a chance, tall ones stand a chance too. Fast sprinters will be considered. The fat, short one... Is always outside.

Yes, she was always outside.
Cause the mighty person had once chided her for her poor attitude.
Being unsupportive of her own team mates.
Then, she tried very hard... To support them. But inside her, there are complicated feelings in her. Its hard to understand it unless you have felt it before.
Its like wanting to have something. And watching other people have the thing that you wanted.
Its a complex feelings. But humans are like that, we have emotions that would be triggered by every little thing. You cannot just judge me just because of this incident. But, you did.
Probably the root started with you.
I was soon compelled to leave. Not physically.. But mentally.
Totally drained, where all i felt about this , was simply rejection.
You have never thought that how this incident had affected me.
It will never cross your mind that every time i think of it, i will start to cry.
It will never cross your mind that the fact that i left, will minimize my social circle. Friends soon began to distant from me... You never thought that how lonely i will be after i leave.
You have never mention anything about me anymore. What i want to hear is that you can recognize the effort that i once put in. But i will never hear it, never.

Again, i am left to make my choice.
The choice that bothered me for so many nights.
Whatever the choice is, i have consequence to face.
So i made my choice finally, i could not bring myself to stay for a minute more.
Cause its mental torture. Maybe all of you cannot see it, but being the person, i feel immensely pressurized. I felt terrible.
Luckily i still have someone to talk to about it, thanks babe :)

2010-08-31T23:35:00.002+08:00

We still have around 2 months to our examinations.
My chemistry is still hanging in the air.
But where is my teacher?
Please get well soon, do come back and still teach us though there isnt much time left.

I still remember when we were in sec 3 and we disliked his method of teaching.
Its very ambiguous... We used to complained so much about him.
Every school day we see him, we confirm will talk something bad about him :p
But right now, he just dint come school for so long..
Like really long, we have not seen him for this long period.
Taken aback by the bad news, a new teacher came in to teach us.
His teaching method is better as it is more guided.
But i think our class still miss our old teacher.
I think i do...
somehow, i feel something is lacking during chemistry lessons..
Maybe i am too sensitive, but still...
ahhhhh, this is so sad!!
:(

2010-08-22T09:48:00.002+08:00

Ytd intended to study @ woodlands area.
But something cropped up last minute...
At night, caught love in disguise.
Movie was quite alright, nothing particularly nice.
But it further aroused my interest for musical instruments :P
I'll learn it ok!! :D

Wasnt too happy about it.
If you are mad at me because i was very pissed.
Why wont you think why was i pissed?
When you asked me , i sounded reluctant.
You knew it dont you? i know u knew .
But why eventually you still go ahead asking them?
So, even if i answered yr question, it doesnt make much difference.
for you, maybe you dont know me much.
I dislike hanging out with people i dont know. Seriously.
Even though we dint interact much, i just purely dislike the environment.
For this, cant you try to consider about my feelings?
I know its useless, cause u wont even see this.
Maybe to you, you think that i am just tooooo unreasonable.

2010-08-14T19:36:00.001+08:00

YOG torch relay day! <3

Day-outs :D

2010-08-08T23:51:00.002+08:00

hey people! :D

these few days are super enjoyable to me!!

Fri :
went to jereen's house at evening. And a few of the 2A peeps gathered and had dinner. It was funny and enjoyable. Well, the shows are scary thou XP

Sat:
Went town with dear 3/4 E loves! It was damn enjoyable. And i spent quite alot :x But overall the whole trip was super fun i swear! :D

After that went to meet jereen. We went over to esplanade and waited for fireworks. It wasnt really that awesome but we managed to catch them. Not too bad :)

After that went to makan. Met a strange guy. He just joined us at the same table. He only drank and watch us eat... Then he started asking how old are we ( he guessed that we were sec 2s!! ) Then our school and where we live... It was really weird... But after a while, he left. Before he went off, he wished us happy national day. Hahaha! sucha friendly person!

then we walked to clarkequay. But we sat down by the benches on the way. Then suddenly while we were talking, theres this girl who is frantically looking for her stuff. She came over and asked if we had seen her wallet.. She really look v anxious.. So i stood up and helped her look around. Luckily i found her wallet at the next bench. Passed it to her and she was damn elated. She was very agitated la, she was like " omg, guys can i hug you? i was damn scared " Its funny but somehow its nice too. heh
So we went to take a bus home :)

Sun:
went to bibi's place to play tennis! it was awesome!! though i sucked at it..
After about 2 hours of tennis, we went on to play pool @ the clubhouse.
Hahaha, it was fun... The process.. Funny thou! hahaha.
I think everyone had fun! yeah <3

The last 2 days i had so much fun, the next two days i shall study abit. I need to start soon!!!
Omg, i am so much lagging behind. Sigh, before i know, I'll be taking the O levels paper soon!
argh, gambate Xinyi! You can do it :)

2010-08-01T14:36:00.002+08:00

Hello people!
Today its 1st August!
And its the first sunday of the august month, hence its the friendship day!
I dint know until today XP

Friends are so important to everyone.
They are just like the sun who lights up our life in the dull world.
Without them, i believe many of us would have given up somewhere and sometime.
They have faith in us, believe in us and give us hope.
They are always there for you, regardless if you are in what kind of state.
A true friend is someone who you can lose contact with for a long time, and when you two start talking again, it feels like that both of you had returned to the past.
This feeling is incredible and unexplainable.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's some friendship quote :)

-"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
Friendship Day Quotes by: Walter Winchell

-"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."

-A friend is a push when you have stopped, a chat when u r lonely, a guide when u r searching, a smile when u r sad, a song when u r glad.

-A good friend is like a computer. I 'enter' in your life, 'save' you in my heart, 'format' your problems, 'shift' you to opportunities & never 'delete' you from my memory!

-Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

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Lovely, right? :)
Because they are inseparable from our lives. We spend most of the time being with them.
I <3 ya! :D

Death

2010-07-23T22:38:00.002+08:00

Death comes with no warning, it heeds no notice. It just comes and takes our loved ones away. We struggle to understand. We struggle to find comfort. We struggle to cope. It is not easy to say goodbye.

To handle all these things aint easy for human beings of all ages. We are made up of mostly emotions and hence once the emotions are triggered, we would break down. In this month, I've witness the death of 2 of my relatives. I've attended 2 funerals. I've seen countless people crying over the death of loved ones. Humans are weak, life is fragile. We cannot do anything to stop god from taking the man we loved away from us. But what can we do instead?

To think on the brighter side, death offers peace. Peace to those who have gone on. The pain of existence here on Earth is no longer. They are no longer susceptible to sadness, disappointment, grief, pain or sickness. To know that our loved ones are free from all troubles on earth, it'll make you feel so much better. Even though the paths after death for them is unknown, but we must hold the belief that they will lead a better angelic life someone virtual out there.

To me, death is not just someone who has passed on. Personally death applies to things as well. Such as relationship between humans. There are deaths too. When everything seem so hopeless and its unable to be salvaged, its proclaimed dead.

Usually, we dont accept deaths. We would go into denial when we face them. Following into a state of anger and then to a state of shock and eventually acceptance. Its a cycle that everyone will undergo. To understand that deaths are part and parcels of life and to really accept it is two different issues. Hence , as we grow older, we will face more of such. To be able to handle them and move on is what we need to learn in life.

Many lessons that we need to learn in life and one of them includes facing death :)

Fear.

2010-07-17T00:38:00.002+08:00

We all have fears.
For everyone, we have different fears.
Some fear death, some fear failures and some even fear cats! ( like me )
But we must know, fears can paralyze and most importantly, it is non-productive.

We have all had times in our lives when out of nowhere fear tried to overtake all that we were and tried to convince us our life situations were hopeless. Moreover, it may have tried to present evidence that showed we were powerless to do anything about it. If this frame of thinking is allowed to take hold or there is a failure to replace it with something positive, that fear will prevail and concomitantly there will be an erosion of self confidence.

The onset of fear can get a stronghold when there are anxieties, horrific experiences, or excess concerns over something, real or imagined. To understand fear, you must come face-to-face with it. You should know the sources of your fear in every minute detail.

Because fear is psychological, it has to be dealt with cerebrally. Once you have isolated the things you fear, ask yourself whether they are reasonable. Is it possible you could be concealing something else about yourself you do not want to confront? You should be as objective as possible in order to tackle the source(s).

When you feel in control of your life, you will cease being afraid of anything. If you think about life, it is short. Why spend it worrying and fretting and being anxious about things over which you have no control. When you determine you have no control over your life's fears, either place them in the hands of a higher power or safeguard yourself against them the best way you know how by using your intelligence and discernment.

Additionally, when negativity tries to overpower you, think of something positive that once happened in your life. This is called the changing of state, which makes you change the mood of your mind and heart. When you live a life of quiet confidence and optimism, fear has no place and will depart from you.

When fear rears its ugly head in an attempt to discourage you in your undertaking and sap your self-confidence, rise up and take control of your life. All that you are today had a start in either the lighter or darker corridors of your mind. You must go to that same place and examine everything you have allowed to reside there. If you wish to vanquish your fears once and for all, confront all the fears you find there. You will find they are not as intimidating as you have imagined them to be.

Endeavor to replace negative thoughts with positive and encouraging ones. Use phrases like "I can do anything I set my mind to," or "If I was successful once, I can be successful again," or "If she (or he) can do it, so can I...."

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FEAR NOT

Do not be afraid,
That which you fear,
finally comes upon you.
Do not be afraid.

Fear begins in the mind,
fastforwards life,
And Freezes the heart
Instead of fear have faith.

Do not be afraid,
Face fears with faith,
For faith chases out fear,
Faith keeps all in form.

Do not be afraid,
Focus on your faith
Till fears fade.
For faith births freedom.

Adapted from helium.

2010-07-12T23:38:00.002+08:00

Hey world!
I am blogging in the middle of the night trying to change my state.
Haha.

Its only 1 more week to prelims...
And less than 100 days to O levels...
I still have so many things undone!
I cant help but to burn midnight oil... But i am aware of the negative impacts...
I work better during the night than day...
Is there any way that i can switch this bloody thing?
Its depriving me of sleep!! The night time is more interesting ley!!
Help anyone? hahaha

I'll just try my best for this coming prelims... Cover whatever i can cover...
Stop fooling around... I think it is gonna be fine :D
What about other people?
Lets all work hard for this crucial period okeh! (:

ahhhh, i am craving for more sashimi... -.-

2010-07-08T20:08:00.002+08:00

HEY WORLD.
IMMA HERE TO POST FOR EVERLYN !

School's fine!! except that i dislike the English clinic...
We are practically given worksheets and worksheets and tests and tests...
Woah, and guess what!
I never used to do math homework, and miraculously i am doing them almost everyday.
Kewwwww !

I love school because school is fun!
With awesome people to hang out with everyday, how can i not love school? :o
<3

2010-07-07T22:13:00.002+08:00

I lent my mum my old phone.
She deleted all my messages...
Messages that i deliberately kept to leave for memorial sake with a few friends.

Now that they are all gone...
What do we have left ?
Those memories are deleted accidentally.

Could it be a message that buddy is giving me about you?
But i know once they are gone, they can no longer be retrieved.
I've just have to accept these...

2010-07-06T21:02:00.002+08:00

Each individual brings a unique light into the world, however, often that light remains buried below the surface of the person others see in us. Discovering that light and letting it shine is one of the fundamental steps each individual must take to become a more whole person. Human beings often give up the power of being true to themselves, hiding amongst the shadows of social roles and familiar comforts instead. There are a number of reasons we pretend to be something we are not. It’s easier – sure, it makes us less responsible – right, it allows others the comfort of knowing we are no better than them.

Our world so often places over us a blanket of overcast skies filled with the chronic expectations that all the people in our lives hold over us. So often we compromise our true self to take on one role or another, forever shape-shifting in an endless disguise that fools all but ourselves.

The cost of being free is hefty. It requires you to respond to The Critic and to take off the disguise. In the face of adversity it requires you to be your true self no matter what others have to say about it. Once you stop shaping yourself to meet the needs of others, once you stop projecting a certain role that supposedly looks good to others, and once you stop being someone else, you will find an unusual gift waiting for you.

Extracted from: Urbanmonk

2010-07-04T20:22:00.005+08:00

Imma here to update pictures abt yesterday ( 3rd July ) :D

Sorry that my photos here are NOT in chronology order..
They are in the exact reverse time line... :)

Had dessert @ cartel to chill with Qianhui :D

Early dinner @ Yoshinoya with peeps!

Had mango yoghurt @ frolick as well as to rest our feets.

With Xinmei! :D

With Qianhui :D

With yanling :D ( see! she reflects light!! )

W kokfoo :D

W Hanqi :D

With ting yew! :D ( haha! i am taller )

With Ms Lee :D

& Ms chua :D:D

W Huiwen and Yanling !

With nicole! :D

With bibi! :D

With June! :D

With Sonia! :D

With Mina syaf! :P

With our prettiest XD

@ ever's house :D

Heh... I think there would be more pictures up on facebook!
till the next update, takecare <3

2010-06-30T19:37:00.002+08:00

Hey people! :D
Its the third day of school...
I've been guai , completing my homework on time.
Only today..
Hahaha.
Basically i skipped amath and went to eat sakae :P
School is still awesome at the moment !
But at the same time we are also bombarded with many mock tests...
I've got a subject lesser than others, but i feel as though its a heavy burden...
Oh well, i shall be as guai and study for the mock tests... Shall exclude the upcoming SS test tmr ba!

Looking forward to the itenary for the rest of the week!

Up next is to attend a wedding and following is Youth day!
Hoho, how many years more to celebrate this?!
yeap!
No inspirational stories or articles to share..
Shall do it the next round...
Till the next update, cya! <3

2010-06-23T20:53:00.003+08:00

Looking forward, My June holidays are ending in a few days' time...
Closing my eye and think, i felt something different.
Comparing with the past years' June holidays, this time , its different.
Its meaningful... I've never felt so for a long time... ( ok, i always waste my june hols )
Not that i've done alot, in fact i am repeating what i do almost everyday.
But each different day, i learn different things. I see more things and talk to more people.

From the start of the holidays, i was still in a dilemma whether i should work.
I went for it. And i proudly say that i've not regretted it.
i still had some share of fun for a few days...
The rest is occupied by work.
You might say its mundane... Waking up early and going to work at 10.. knocking off at 5...
Yawns ! So boring~
I thought so in the beginning... But soon after... i started to have the drive to go to work.
Though i have to drag myself out of bed every single day, but when i reach the office..
I am almost ready to start cracking.

I could say that i am lucky...
The data given to me are all good leads and hence i could have presentations clinched...
By calling more and more...
and speaking to all kind of professionals... all different kind of reaction...
I got nasty people and of course there are nice people around~
I learnt how to build a defence to nasty people... And shed my defence to nice people~
I knew the right technique to deal with nasty people... But i've yet to learn how to serve perfectly to the nice people...
But i am learning everyday... Changing my way of speaking everyday...
I mean its nice to learn something everyday~ And for this, the school doesnt teach...
Its socialism...
Anyway! i also learnt how to use microsoft excel!! :P

After numerous phone calls made...
I started to realise, i dont feel happy even if i clinched presentation...
At that time, i asked myself why is it so? i couldnt get an answer...
Finally till the last few days... I got it...
I found out that i was truly happy when i speak to people that are very polite.
Even simple words they say can make my day.
For example, they tell me to enjoy my day... Its makes me so happy you know...
Cause i feel that the world is filled with love. hahaha!

Not only work stuff.. I have 2 awesome bosses...
They are very strict ... But they treat us very nicely.
Yvonne would always share with us many many different things...
Just to encourage us...
Whenever i dont feel good, i dint clinch appointment..
She will always assure me that i can do it..
And true enough, i really did...
Its amazing.. To have such a caring and understanding boss... :)
I really enjoyed the time spent with them...

Lastly, from now onwards...
I will never say that i TRY my best...
I will DO my best !
what i've learnt this hols cant be summarised in a few words...
But they will be well kept in my heart <3

Check out my current LOVE other than ms Pink... See she is so awesome!
Fight Tso Ann An!! :D

If we hold on together

2010-06-15T22:34:00.003+08:00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A song i learnt to sing during my choir days...
Meaningful and lovely.. :)

Encouragement.

2010-06-10T22:53:00.002+08:00

Throughout life, we go through more than a few times where we could just crawl up in a corner, cry, feel as if no one cares about us, and stay there forever. Our mind begins playing tricks on us and tells us that we just aren’t good enough. Unfortunately, this all starts with someone making fun of you or calling you names. Even if they are not true, after awhile of hearing it over and over, you yourself, begin to think that way.

The individual seeks out others to reassures him or her that life will improve. The
other person reminds him or her that one will survive through the pain then get
past the traumatic events.

None of us can make it on our own. We are all hard-wired to need others. Support and encouragement from others works like a mirror to our self-esteem. We often see ourselves as if in a fun house mirror. It is very difficult to see ourselves honestly. When others offer us support and encouragement, they offer us a different perspective. They are letting us know they think we can do it, and do it well. They are letting us know we are not alone.

Imagine our bodies without the support of our Skeletal system. We would be puddles of skin, muscle, ... on the floor, unable to do anything. Support and encouragement are the skeletal system of our self-esteem. It allows us to do more than we could do without it.

So don’t you think if words can tear someone down, that they can build them up?

Words can be one of two things: hurtful and tearing down or encouraging and uplifting.

Hurtful words do not necessarily have to be harsh or sharp; in fact some people would not even view them as hurtful. This is why wherever we go, we must watch our tongue and make sure that we have thought about what we are going to say before it comes out of our mouth. Nothing should leave out mouth without first going through our head, so we can decide whether or not it is a good thing to say. The saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Just by performing this simple task of holding our tongue when we should, you can avoid hurting other people, both intentionally and unintentionally.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is encouraging words. Like hurtful words, encouraging words do not have to be extremely amazing to be effective, because some words will affect one person more than another. Often times, we may say things that we would not see as uplifting to someone else, but they may get that warm feeling inside. So it is important for us to not only keep watch of the things that come out our mouth, but also make sure we are not afraid to say things that we think are not that important. By doing this, we will encourage people without knowing it, which is sometimes the best way. When someone comes up to us and tells us that we encouraged them a long time ago, it gives us a good feeling inside and makes us want to keep on encouraging people. Plus, we should do unto others as we would want to be treated. We do not like being stabbed by hurtful words, instead we like be encouraged, therefore we should encourage, not hurt, build up not tear down, and uplift not destroy.

Encouragement is a unique tool because it motivates individuals to act.

Encouraging one self and others are vital because it provides hope for the future. Encouraging one's self to follow a dream is important. Individuals tire when confronted with obstacles because there are times when obstacles are insurmountable. Encouragement from one self will motivate one to persevere, to overcome. The same can be applied to other individuals in one's life. A friend
may come to one to look for words of encouragement because their life may be filled with unsureness and insecurity over a decision that must be made. This insecurity is related to the fact the choice may be a wrong one. The individual finds one self in a position where words of encouragement are needed. The fact that one is encouraging another to follow their spirit is a tremendous gift.

As a society in whole people encourage others constantly through support groups or just lending a hand. Encouraging others is a necessity in our everyday life. By doing so it provides hope to so many people who are down and out. When encouragement is offered it lifts the spirits of others. This renewed energy provides hope for the future. To encourage is a wonderful spiritual attribute which is freely given.

Yes, we can do things without support and encouragement, but isn't it a whole lot better when we don't have to? By offering support and encouragement to others, you can give them wings to fly and make a difference in their lives. That's the importance of support and encouragement.

Sourced from helium:)

2010-06-04T23:32:00.002+08:00

When friendship hurts

21 types of potentially negative friends:

The Promise Breaker- Constantly disappoints you or breaks promises
The Taker Borrows- and fails to return something precious or valuable to you.
The Double-Crosser- Betrays you big time
The Risk Taker- Puts you in harm's way because of illegal or dangerous behavior
The Self-Absorbed- Never has time to listen to you
The Cheat- Lies, or steals your romantic partner
The Discloser- Betrays your confidence
The Competitor- Excessively combative with you and wants what you have relationships, job, possessions
The One-Upper Always one up on you
The Rival- Wants whatever you have and may try to take it from you
The Faultfinder- Overly critical
The Downer- Always negative, critical, and sad, and makes you feel that way too.
The Rejecter- Dislikes you and lets you know it
The Abuser- Verbally, physically, or sexually abuses you
The Loner- Would rather be alone than with a friend
The Blood- Sucker Overly dependent
The Therapist- Needs to analyze everything and give you advice
The Interloper- Overly involved in your life
The Copy Cat- Imitates you
The Controller- Needs to dominate you or the friendship
The Caretaker- Needs to be a friend's keeper, mother or nursemaid, rather than an equal.

Adopted from the book(when friendship hurts).

2010-06-01T21:16:00.002+08:00

Ahhhhhhh,
i am frustrated, vexed and lost and ANGRY.
made an effort to come home early to watch my show, but i got chided.
Apparently, my dad ask me to give it to my mum..
But why?
Thats nothing.

I'm feeeeeeling super lost.
Like i dontknow what i am doing now and going to now next.
I cant think and i cant concentrate.
Whats going on my mind? I dont have the answer.
So lost...
So blur...

Can i still call you for help? will you still give me good responses?
Maybe not.

2010-05-30T18:29:00.002+08:00

He is so cuteeeeee<3
Love him ttm ! :P

We both understand.

2010-05-30T17:45:00.002+08:00

Letting Go of Attachment to People

Friend yourself. It will be harder to let people go when necessary if you depend on them for your sense of worth. Believe you’re worthy whether someone else tells you or not. This way, you relate to people—not just how they make you feel about yourself.

Go it alone sometimes. Take time to foster your own interests, ones that nothing and no one can take away. Don’t let them hinge on anyone or anything other than your values and passion.

Hold lightly. This one isn’t just about releasing attachments—it’s also about maintaining healthy relationships. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone’s other half. You’re separate and whole. You can still hold someone to close to your heart; just remember, if you squeeze too tightly, you’ll both be suffocated.

Interact with lots of people. If you limit yourself to one or two relationships they will seem like your lifelines. Everyone needs people, and there are billions on the planet. Stay open to new connections. Accept the possibility your future involves a lot of love whether you cling to a select few people or not.

Justify less. I can’t let him go—I’ll be miserable without him. I’d die if I lost her—she’s all that I have. These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you’re strong enough to carry on if and when things change.

Letting Go of Attachment to the Past

Know you can’t change the past. Even if you think about over and over again. Even if you punish yourself. Even if you refuse to accept it. It’s done. The only way to relieve your pain about what happened is to give yourself relief. No one and nothing else can create peace in your head for you.

Love instead of fearing. When you hold onto the past, it often has to do with fear: fear you messed up your chance at happiness, or fear you’ll never know such happiness again. Focus on what you love and you’ll create happiness instead of worrying about it.

Make now count. Instead of thinking of what you did or didn’t do, the type of person you were or weren’t, do something worthwhile now. Be someone worthwhile now. Take a class. Join a group. Help someone who needs it. Make today so full and meaningful there’s no room to dwell on yesterday.

Narrate calmly. How we experience the world is largely a result of how we internalize it. Instead of telling yourself dramatic stories about the past—how hurt you were or how hard it was—challenge your emotions and focus on lessons learned. That’s all you really need from yesterday.

Open your mind. We often cling to things, situations or people because we’re comfortable with them. We know how they’ll make us feel, whether it’s happy or safe. Consider that new things, situations and people may affect you the same. The only way to find out is to let go of what’s come and gone.

Letting Go of Attachment to Feelings

Understand that pain is unavoidable. No matter how well you do everything on this list, or on your own short list for peace, you will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain. But it doesn’t have to be as bad as you think. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Vocalize your feelings. Feel them, acknowledge them, express them, and then let them naturally transform. Even if you want to dwell in anger, sadness or frustration—especially if you feel like dwelling—save yourself the pain and commit to working through them.

Write it down. Then toss it out. You won’t always have the opportunity to express your feelings to the people who inspired them. That doesn’t mean you need to swallow them. Write in a journal. Write a letter and burn it. Anything that helps you let go.

Xie Xie. It means thank you in Chinese. Fully embrace your happy moments—love with abandon; be so passionate it’s contagious. If a darker moment follows, remember: it will teach you something, and soon enough you’ll be in another happy moment to appreciate. Everything is cyclical.

Yield to peace. The ultimate desire is to feel happy and peaceful. Even if you think you want to stay angry, what you really want is to be at peace with what happened or will happen. It takes a conscious choice. Make it.

Adopted from Zen Habits.

Five Great Ways to Achieve Happiness Through Serving Others

2010-05-26T20:43:00.002+08:00

To some , serving others might be a chore.
But to me, depending on situations. It mostly are joyful for me :)
For the past holiday jobs i have taken, they are mostly in service line.
Its never easy to face someone and talk to them and persuade them in doing something.
Especially for our age, its not easy to have the courage and the ability to talk them into something.
Sometimes i fail, but i enjoy most moments of them.
Except that when my legs are breaking, i cant be bothered with any joy.
But when i am not, i feel sense of achievement helping others .
Especially when i am returned with a warm smile and a genuine thanks, i feel awesome.

Tips to achieve happiness out of them:

1. Show respect and courtesy. It seems like such a small thing, and in our busy lives we often forget that a kind word, a helping hand, or just a smile and “Thank you” can create a bright spot in another person’s life. And then two people are happy.

2. Listen more than you speak. Some people just need ears to listen when they need to say something. By giving them that, they feel the pleasure of speaking and you will be listening more enjoyably. We have two ears and one mouth. God wants us to listen more than we speak. We cant deny that. No one has 2 mouths right...

3. Give genuine praise. Recognizing the contributions of others is a mighty act of service. This is an investment in others that doesn’t cost you a thing, and the returns can be amazing. Remember, “Praise in public, punish in private“. Even in a disagreement there is an opportunity for service, and you can restore happiness to the relationship, if you speak the truth in love to help another to learn and grow.

4. Keep your promises. You can create an atmosphere of service simply by doing the things that you say you will do. Dependability and punctuality are the hallmarks of the service-oriented individual. When people can trust you it creates happiness all around.

5. Practice forgiveness. Pointless hard feelings are the source of so much unhappiness in the world. Holding a grudge against another is a blemish on your soul. When you can let go of this, you can begin to heal the pain. Making a point of forgiving someone is a great service, for there are times that the person may not even know that they have hurt you. You can even forgive those who do not want to be forgiven, trust me – it will make you happy.

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The points above are kinda true...
By practicing those, we will feel happy and make others feel happy at the same time.
And the last point, practice forgiveness.

I have learnt from my friend saying about all these.
She said, its either you tell the person uprightly what is exactly wrong or you let go.
Its pretty straightforward, either say it or let go.

But most of us are unable to do so for many kinds of fears.
Yet we are not willing and unable to let go.
We feel anger in us yet theres nothing we can do.
So we need to start thinking, if this anger keeps going on within us, will the matter be resolved?
Will the thing that you are mad at go your way?
No right, so if you are not willing to iron out matters, stop holding that hatred of anger.

On the other hand, If u want to say it out.
Its very fine... But prepared to know the consequences.
You must know what could happen before acting, you must also be sure you are able to handle the outcome. If not, dont do it.

Well, Practicing forgiveness is some thing very high level.
Mindful people find it hard to do.
But it all ties back to the effort. And always ask yourself, what i am doing, is it right?
Ask why you are angry ? Ask why you cant forgive the person?
And then decide if its something you can let go. If not, talk.
Talk to the person about it. Get it settled. ASAP.
Because in the long run, the one that is hurt the most, is YOU.

well, in this entire life, there are 2 person that i cant forgive.
Oh no! i am contradicting my post. Argh, but. i shall try!!
bleah :P
Goodnight :]

Comparison.

2010-05-24T22:28:00.002+08:00

Everyday, every single minute, people make comparisons.
But are they needed? or uncalled for?
Very often we make a benchmark and compare ourselves with others.
If our performance exceeds the benchmark or the standard then it makes us feel proud and delighted ; if the performance fails to reach the benchmark then it makes us depressed.

But exactly, who sets those benchmark?
Its up to individuals that each have their own opinion to whom their benchmark and standards are set.
It makes people feel that they have a goal to work towards, they might be right...
But not entirely...

We all are different from each other as our needs, requirements, expectations everything are different from each other.
For example: Parents make the standard for their children. Many parents impose their own expectations, own dreams on their children.

But have we ever thought that if we compare ourselves with others we are doing nothing but insulting ourselves in front of everybody including us.
We all are created by God.
We all are extraordinary and we make our own standard.
So there is no use comparing us with others.

But we can adapt the good qualities and appreciate others who are having those qualities.
The most important thing is the positive attitude.
If we have the positive attitude and if we are confident enough then surely we can make our own standard instead of comparing ourselves with others.
This will also help us to get success in our own field.

It is the hard working, effort, commitment and loyalty towards achieving their success goal make a person successful.

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Dont ever compare yourself with anyone else in this world :

If you compare, you are insulting yourself.

No one will manufacture a lock without a key.

Similarly God won't give problems without solutions.

Life laughs at you when you are unhappy...

Life smiles at you when you are happy...

Life salutes you when you make others happy...

Every successful person has a painful story...Every painful story has a successful ending

Accept the pain and get ready for success..

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others....Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to cover the earth with carpet.

No one can go back and change a bad beginning; But anyone can start now and create a successful ending..

If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it..If a problem cannot be solved what is the use of worrying?

If you miss an opportunity don't fill the eyes with tears...It will hide another better opportunity in front of you

"Changing the Face" can change nothing. But "Facing the Change" can change everything.

Don't complain about others; Change yourself if you want peace.

Mistakes are painful when they happen. But year's later collection of mistakes is called experience, which leads to success.

Be bold when you lose and be calm when you win.

Heated gold becomes ornament. Beaten copper becomes wires. Depleted stone becomes statue. So the more pain you get in life you become more valuable.

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They do make sense right...
Readers, i have always thought that using someone as a benchmark would motivate me.
Well, for my case it did not work.
And after i read these, it makes it even more sure that what i thought was right.
We all have a value of our own.
Why should we put someone superior of us and follow their footsteps?
We create our own.
So long as you think that what you are doing is right. Just do it.
Follow your heart, cause only your heart will lead you in doing things that makes you feel genuinely happy.
Shall we all not compare? to stop breaking people's heart.
Cause its in us that we can create our own history.
We dont need to mimic someone.

We all can, we have the ability and power ! :)

Gratitude.

2010-05-23T18:15:00.003+08:00

Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation is a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.

Many days, I close my eyes, and think about what I’m grateful for and who I’m grateful for.

I don’t do it every day, but let me tell you, on the days I do it, it makes me very happy. When i humble myself and think of the great people who had helped me on the way for almost 16 years, i love the feeling. But not all that i could do something in time to express my gratitude, not long and they are gone. I am still glad.

Why should that be? Why should the simple act of thinking about who and what I’m grateful for make such a big difference in my life?

Just a few reasons:

Because it reminds you of the positive things in your life. It makes you happy about the people in your life, whether they’re loved ones or just a stranger you met who was kind to you in some ways.
Because it turns bad things into good things. Having problems at work? Be grateful you have work. Be grateful you have challenges, and that life isn’t boring. Be grateful that you can learn from these challenges. Be thankful they make you a stronger person.
Because it reminds you of what’s important. It’s hard to complain about the little things when you give thanks that your children are alive and healthy. It’s hard to get stressed out over paying bills when you are grateful there is a roof over your head.
Because it reminds you to thank others. The simple act of saying “thank you” to someone can make a big difference in that person’s life. Calling them, emailing them, stopping by to say thank you … just taking that minute out of your life to tell them why you are grateful toward them is important to them. People like being appreciated for who they are and what they do. It costs you little, but makes someone else happy. And making someone else happy will make you happy.

I thank my loved ones, for all they do to me. I thank strangers who’ve shown me little acts of kindness. I thank God, for the life he’s given me. I thank people around the world for the things they’ve done to make the world better.

The thing is, simple acts of gratitude don’t cost you much (especially once you get over the initial discomfort some people feel with thanking others). But they can make a huge difference.

Morning gratitude session. Take 2-3 minutes each morning to give thanks, to whoever or whatever you’re grateful for. You don’t have to do anything, other than close your eyes and silently give thanks. This one act can make a huge difference.
Say thank you. When someone does something nice for you, however small, try to remember to say thank you. And really mean it.
Call to say thanks. Sometimes you might think about something nice that someone did for you. Perhaps you remember during your gratitude session. When you do, pick up the phone and call the person, just to say thanks. Let them know what they did that you’re grateful for, and why you appreciate it. Takes a minute or two. If it’s too early to call, make a note to call later. Even better is telling them in person, if you happen to see them or if they’re on your route. Almost as good is a thank-you message — keep it short and sweet.
Give thanks for “negative” things in your life. There’s always two ways to look at something. Many times we think of something as negative — it’s stressful, harmful, sad, unfortunate, difficult. But that same thing can be looked at in a more positive way. Giving thanks for those things is a great way to remind yourself that there is good in just about everything. Problems can be seen as opportunities to grow, to be creative. See the prayer below for more on this.

Excerpts of articles found online adding in my own thoughts as well .
Below would be some quotes about this topic .
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If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart
There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed. If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude. ~Robert Brault
Gratitude is the best attitude. ~Author Unknown
We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. ~Cynthia Ozick
Gratitude is the least of the virtues, but ingratitude is the worst of vices. ~Thomas Fuller

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This is something that i look as big in my life.
Every person in this entire world just receive too much help with self not knowing.
But for those help we received that we are aware of, do we thank the person?
If yes, its good.. But if its a no, why not?

Its a basic courtesy that many people forgo and view them as unimportant matters.
But it all ties back to the most basic things in human.
It is respect.
Respect those who are giving something to you, thank them.

To me, when i thank people who had lent me a helping hand, i feel good.
I feel happy and i know they also feel happy.
Being acknowledged is a good feeling.
If you want to feel it, you must first make others feel it.

Even though they are minor stuff such as holding the door of the lift etc...

So shall we all start to say thank you for every help we have received? :]

2010-05-23T01:03:00.002+08:00

Today is wonderful.
So long that i've never felt that i had a great weekend. ( except last sat :P cause it was YVONNE!)
but to certain extend.
It makes me realise of what i actually want and what i actually need to do.
Went to many places today.

Bukitpanjang>queensway>chinatown>tanjong pagar>raffles place>esplanade>suntec>HOME :)
It was the process...
Had very nice talk...
Something that i have not had for ages..
I've got some inspiration today.
Cause i saw many things going on on the way and sets me thinking.
And i saw many things that i want in future and want to do.
At least i know that i need to study well to get them and time to do the things i want to.
Well,
Its an awesome day.
I am really happy.
For a simple reason, which is that nothing that happened today is sad.
hahaha,
it might be lame.
But its called being appreciative.
Its not easy to appreciate..
Cause its human nature to be complacent.
But yeah, its a good try.
To start young is to end well.
And and and !
I managed to contain my anger.
So proud of myself.
At least i dint affect the atmosphere and affect my companion.

Current mood : XINYI is VERY happy :D

I hope i have as good weekends in future! <3

2010-05-20T20:15:00.004+08:00

Today made me fully realized that my Angel had gone.
She is no longer with me.
Actually long time ago, she left.
I refused to accept it.. Till i hear more today, i had no choice.
Well, its a hard pill to take.
But i am telling myself i should not cry, i should not be sad.
We had memories..
And those are entrenched in my mind.
Thank you for entering my life and impacting me.
No matter how long life goes on, this gratitude would always be here..
Right in my heart.
She had flown away...
Flew into other people's sky to help them out.
To help those who were like the past me.
I don't know whose sky she entered.
But i know all of them are blessed if they ever had her in.
She is good, wonderful and perfect.
Goodbye my angel,
After you shed your wings and halo, we would just be strangers.
nevertheless, i hearts you <3

Huge rainbow after the downpour.

Marshmallow clouds.. so fluffy...

Heart shaped cloud?:)

Malacca sky.

Dusk.

That pink ribbon.

Purple awesome sky.

Today's morning sky. Good contrast.

Fireworks displayed in the last day of 2009's sky

That moon.

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I would still continue to gaze and take picture of the skies.
They remind me of you.
They have natural tranquility.
They worked wonders for me.
Just like how you did =)

2010-05-19T20:15:00.005+08:00

Hello world!
Recently i am upset that people around me are upset...
I know life is hard and all kind of stuff comes along.
But we shouldnt feel sad because of them..
Its them that makes us emerge stronger!
Even though u are sad, give yrself a smile..
It do affect yr mood..
It sends a signal to your brain that u want to be happy.. and hence lighten up yr mood...
We smile to make ourselves happy, make other people happy.
A smile means alot... Seriously...

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1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive

We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away -- but a smile draws them in

2. Smiling Changes Our Mood

Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. There's a good chance you mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Smiling Is Contagious

When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and you will draw people to you.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress

Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you'll be better able to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System

Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure

When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin

Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger

The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don't go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day -- you'll look younger and feel better.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful

Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive

Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It's hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that "Life is Good!" Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.

11. It’s easier than frowning

As a naturally induced movement, the recognition of joy or pleasure involuntarily triggers smiles. It takes more muscles and effort to frown, where a smile relieves stress, a frown or perplexed expression can induce more stress. Prove it to yourself and notice that facial muscles relax in a smile, allowing blood to flow freely through vessels. The contortion of a frown exhausts the facial muscles, a clear warning from the brain that you need to relax.

12. The Bigger the Better

Smiling wider than a grin enhances the pleasure derived from the act. On simple experiment used by some psychologists is to hold a pen horizontal between the teeth and grin as wide as possible, then repeat the grin with the pen placed horizontal between the lips in front of the teeth. Notice how much better a wide, unrestrained smile feels and remember that the next time you restrain the natural state of a smile into a grin; don’t hold back.

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I love my friends. And of course i do not want to see them upset..

It saddens me as well ...

Dear friends, i am here... Talk to me...

I will give you my brightest smile...

Cheers to all my sisters and brother... <3

awwwww, isnt this cute? :D

2010-05-18T20:36:00.004+08:00

hello world!
I am so bloody tired ever since physics free period in school..
I did not do anything! but fatigue is taking over my day!!
Till now, i am sleepy..
Feel like nua-ing.. but guilty that i did not follow my plan~
Shit arghhhhhhhh.

should i study or go to bed? hmmm~

Well, i am kinda feel that the school is being strange.
Firstly they want to squeeze our half prelims in May..
Secondly they do not want to return our papers!!
Wonderful...
by the time they give us back, i'll not longer feel anything.
they should give us back!!!!!
rahhhhhhhhh.
I am also strongly against the english clinic during physics free lessons!!
OMG, they got someone who has doctor degree in GEOGRAPHY to come and teach us ENGLISH.
hello? you see any link? :o
Well, she cannot teach english...
She forces us to accept her answer key..
FORCE doesnt not mean teach.
And its definitely NOT efficient..
Can anyone please do something about it?
i am being driven crazy by that english clinic thingy....
eeeee, it make me dread english more and more...
unlike normal english lessons... they are fun!
sigh...
today isnt exactly a good day.
Just that i had an AWESOME PE in the morning.
Would hope to have more of such! :D

Basically i am just ranting my lousy day.
And i had a bad afternoon..
lousy weather, wrong companion.. and wrong place.
I should'nt have turned up..
Maybe good memories are left better in my heart.

The only person that can make my day !
You are the best.
<3 you ttm, fighting yvonnne!

2010-05-16T16:05:00.009+08:00

15may2010 is an awesome wonderful and perfect day!!
Went to marinasquare for YYFC gathering. AWESOME chatting and phototaking !
Yvonnnnnne ftw!! <3333333333

Then went ion to meet the girls.
Celebrated syaf's bday outside ion.
Made her ate wasabi muffin.
Then after that chiong to swensens to have their icecream buffet.
Good bitching session, eating session and we were really happy taking photographs.
Talked and laughed super loud...
AWESOME, i was really very happy!!

More noms!

Nom Nom! :D

Final group photo!

WHAT A GOOD DAY!
LOVE IT, i was truly happy yesterday~

2010-05-14T22:40:00.004+08:00

Our highly anticipated trip:D

I had the cookies and creme & strawberry fields

The rest had chocolaty flavours and minty ones:)

Cute cow water dispenser!

Lunch @ My toast next to U.D.D.E.R.S

Bibi's food.

Mine.

Group photos!! :D

U.D.D.E.R.S is not too bad. But i think that towards the end i got abit sick of the icecream..
So i recommend people to have single scoop and not double..
Cookies and creme is not too bad.
Strawberry fields perhaps you can give it a miss..
Overall wasnt too bad, give it about 3/5 (star)

Today was a ultra unlucky day for me!
Firstly my slippers broke on my way to LRT. Not too bad, i could just turn and rush home to change.
Secondly it rained.
Thirdly i got chilli sauce all over me... Its garlic chilli sauce..
The smell isnt very pleasant when its on you...
After washing my hair, i got my hair into assam sauce...
Sigh.
all my lose friday 13 in this entire 15 years just came back to me in a day? :O

Hahaha, thank you buddy.
Its a good joke to be laughed at .
Well, at least its funny and it did not harmed me.
Looking forward to tomorrow! <3

2010-05-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

People, click on the ads at the top of the page and at the left hand column.
They are 2 different ads.
TYVM ^^

I'll come back with updates.
The next stop : U.D.D.E.R.S !! *screams*

P/s : do you still remember our icecream date? :(

2010-05-14T00:14:00.002+08:00

Heartbroken

When when i wanted you to respond, you did not.
When you eventually responded, i do not know how to respond to you.

Probably its time for me to stop seeking comfort in you.
Time for me to give it all back to you.

But, i was waiting for you to persistently bug.

2010-05-12T18:55:00.000+08:00

readers, click on the ad above or the side :)

Emotion intelligence

2010-05-11T21:26:00.003+08:00

emotional intelligence (EQ) By Daniel Goleman .

Emotional Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organizational development and developing people, because the EQ principles provide a new way to understand and assess people's behaviours, management styles, attitudes, interpersonal skills, and potential.

Emotional Intelligence links strongly with concepts of love and spirituality: bringing compassion and humanity to work, and also to 'Multiple Intelligence' theory which illustrates and measures the range of capabilities people possess, and the fact that everybody has a value.

Success requires more than IQ (Intelligence Quotient), which has tended to be the traditional measure of intelligence, ignoring essential behavioral and character elements. We've all met people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially and inter-personally inept. And we know that despite possessing a high IQ rating, success does not automatically follow.

emotional intelligence - two aspects

Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behavior and all.
Understanding others, and their feelings.

emotional intelligence - the five domains

Knowing your emotions.
Managing your own emotions.
Motivating yourself.
Recognizing and understanding other people's emotions.
Managing relationships, IE., managing the emotions of others.

The process and outcomes of Emotional Intelligence development also contain many elements known to reduce stress for individuals and organizations, by decreasing conflict, improving relationships and understanding, and increasing stability, continuity and harmony.

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I'm sad to say, for my emotional intelligence... I still have to work towards it...
I am nowhere near it.. booohoooo :(
We can... Make a difference everyday...
Including the control of our emotions slightly...

Oyasumi ^^

2010-05-09T00:50:00.003+08:00

A warm day spent @ friend's house.
The feeling is great and aint too great.
I could probably say, it could be one of the very last time i would do that ever again..
I need time for myself...
From today...

That imaginary line

2010-05-06T20:18:00.002+08:00

What is that invisible line we speak of so often? When someone steps "over the line," we know it immediately most of the time, but if someone asks you to define that line how do you explain it? Many people would say, "he crossed my line of respect." When we draw the lines of respect, we are most successful if we know where that line exists and what it means.

Each of us has protective lines, invisible though they may be, to keep us from physical, emotional and spiritual harm. These lines are our personal boundaries and operate like an enclosure with a door that opens to let our inner self give and receive the richness of who we are. When personal boundaries are firm with a well oiled gate, they serve us in friendships.

When a friend steamrolls your personal boundaries that is emotional or physical abuse.

Rarely are friends all pushovers or steamrollers. Many of our friends are a combination of positive and negative influences. Our boundaries determine where we draw the line with them or whether we ultimately walk away from the friendship.

If our boundaries are fuzzy and soft, they let in influence that is destructive.

It's my choice to with hold or give the information. If I want her to know this information, I will make it available to her. On principle, I believe that people who pry into personal details without invitation are intrusive, and I draw the line at intrusive.

Some of us draw friends who like to push our boundaries and if that is a frequent occurrence in our lives, our boundaries are not doing their jobs properly.

Transparency is a good thing with trusted friends who've seen us through storms and upsets in our lives. Humans have a need to share and it's important to have deep friendships that unlock the treasures in our hearts. Boundaries are less rigid in these friendships and that allows us to connect with other human beings. Time and experience lead to connected friendships.

Where do you draw the line? You draw the line when friends ask or imply things that make you uncomfortable or uneasy. Listen to your gut feeling and watch out for red flags. Friends don't intrude where not invited and they don't use persuasion to get their way. Your inner voice will give you a warning of when to draw the line. Listen carefully.

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This article is very useful and sourced from helium...

I thought its was quite personal and close to my experience.. Hoping to share with people so that they know what they are doing as well :)

I finally know... Know why the walls are built initially around me... Its my personal space, my line of respect.. Its alright if some people dont understand it.. but it is extremely necessary for me... Probably i dont need to explain to people, but i feel that to keep friendship going, i need to break to them about how i felt and how it came all about...

They might probably think its crap, but it mean a lot to me.. We all have different priority.. And this is mine... I got to know myself better by reading articles online...

You? :) are you sure of what you are doing and why are you doing so?

co-dependency

2010-05-04T21:39:00.003+08:00

An article i found online which is very informative for me :)

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When in a friendship you can expect some lows, to go along with the highs. No relationship is great all of the time and this includes those which are friendships. However, there may come a time when you need to consider where to draw the line between being a friend, and being a doormat.

Friendship is built, hopefully, upon respect and equality. When these two elements are one sided the balance can tip in the favor of just one individual, leaving the other feeling used and unappreciated.

As true friendships are hard to find and can take years to build, when you have one, they tend to be worth holding on to. Although sometimes with the passing of time the dynamics of such relationships can alter as the people involved change and grow too.

A person who was once of great importance to you may begin to move in a different direction from where you are going. You may find yourselves spending less and less time together, and wonder why you bother to keep scheduling important events, like their birthday, into your life when they don't ever remember your birthday anymore.

You may also find that your friendship becomes stressful when your friend begins taking far more than he or she gives in other respects, leaving you wondering what happened to your close bond.

It may be that your friendship has outgrown itself, and that all is left are habitual rituals which mean nothing to you anymore. Or it may be that your so called friend seems to have become selfish and has no time for you when you need it, but still expects allot from you.

This can happen when a friend is going through a busy transitional period of learning and growing. In which case it is worth taking them aside and telling them how their actions, or inaction, is making you feel.

Hopefully this will wake them up to reality and snap them out of selfish mode. They may be very glad that you bought the subject up in the end, rather than having to lose you as a friend.

If there is little change though, after you have said your piece, it may be time to firmly draw that line and vow not to cross it again. Keeping to this decision is important, as if your former friend is a user they will seek any opportunity to keep you as their willing helper should the line appear to be faded along the way.

Friendships are sometimes transitional in nature, coming to us when both parties need one another in some way, and then finishing when the need has passed. It can seem sad at first, but it is far better to listen to your gut feelings over the matter and to set yourself free from a friendship that is no-longer genuine anymore.

Source: Helium!

2010-05-03T23:04:00.003+08:00

Because your life is entangled with others.
So there are people you will not be able to forget them ..
They will be in yr mind for life...
Regardless they are yr dear ones or the hated ones...

Looking at the photo album...
In my childhood...
There are two people that i will never forget..
They played a big role , they are my god father and mother...
They often bring me out to play, eat and gai gai when i was young..
And i mean real young...
these photos are taken when we went sentosa..
Very much like a family yeah?
I really miss my aunt...
I know the time now is very diff from the past...
I dont know where is my aunt...
I miss her...
Cutting my hair ( she is a hairdresser ) , bringing me out...
Those are events that will never ever happen now..
Cause she is gone.. to somewhere i dunno...
I regretted not saying and expressing my gratitude and love towards both of you...

Thats why now i am mindful of such things...
I dont want words to be left unsaid and me regretting in the future...
Yes, i still love you , ah yi...
I just feel sad that a person who is so nice just disappeared from my life with no reason...
If only we could turn back time..
I am definite to hold you and not let you go...
:(

2010-05-02T21:55:00.001+08:00

fuhennori : Eternal truth ; Truth that we WILL NEVER EVER be like pairs out there :(

2010-05-02T19:41:00.002+08:00

I love Portuguese egg tarts !! <3

2010-04-30T19:56:00.003+08:00

Ended my half prelims.
Yippeeee yay!! (Y)
Went to plaza and had lunch with the girls in class...
Following by the slacking cum gossiping cum sharing session @ starbucks!
Wheeets, thats awesome...

I think we talked from 2 plus till 7 plus...
Ultimate...
My best sharing session in this year :D
After talking for very long, went to buy sweet talk and went garden plaza...
Continued rubbishing there lo..
Hahaha.
we got ourselves names...
Vincent = Lao Da !
Ting yew = Lao Er
Huiwen = Lao San
Yanling = Lao Si
Kok Foo = Lao wu
Everlyn = Lao Liu ( she dont know yet :P )
Me = Lao Qi !!

So cool!!
Hahaha
I love today, i love gossiping and i love my classmates!! <3 <3 <3

After taking the humanties paper..
I suddenly realise my love for trying...
Even though i know the paper might be hard..
I still went and tried..
Even i know the compositions question are the hardest, i still continue and chose and tried..
Even though i might fail, But the learning process is more important..
I know ...
I will try in the future..
Even though it might lead me to failure..
i'll still try...

"If you dont try, you will miss 100% of the shot"

2010-04-29T15:02:00.002+08:00

Hey :D
I have currently finished two papers for this short prelim..
And it was DEFINITELY EPIC.
haha!

But i was thinking for the past few days...
Why is it the we have our destiny tied with other people?
My conclusion is that : We have a "rubber band" that ties us together.
Not literally la..
But acts like one...

It happened to be so i feel that there is la..
Moreover its something virtual...
When we are just met....
We become close and the band which is the bond in this case is tight...
When we know each other better, we make compromises and demands..
Hence stretching the band...
And till we do something that is intolerant to the other party, the band breaks...
Just like a rubber band, when we stretch it to the maximum, it may snap...
I've snapped a few...
:(

2010-04-27T16:58:00.002+08:00

Many time when we meet, there are many instances that i felt like crying.
Its a very heartbroken feeling.
Though there is not any direct conflict between us...
But i know there a crack in between already.
Its me.. i caused it and i am remorse now... But will you still be back? :(
i can see impatient and irritated from your cold eyes..
That were once warm and loving..
But those passion could no longer be felt from you...
Change is a irreversible action...
I wont possibly have that friend back.
Just hoping that the memories that once played isnt kept of your mind.
The letters i once wrote are still well kept with you...
And the mug i once bought is not thrown away...
Just let them be with you, and allow the xinyi to be with you...
Probably you will feel better...

though i no longer long friendliness from you anymore, or even i dont feel a thing for you anymore..
But i am still affected by the things you said...
You once drove me up and now you are telling that you are tired and sick...
You gotta know that you made a deep impact on me , that is for sure and i will not forget..
I dont want your drive to just stop here..
It has to go longer and reach out to more people.
Cause i know you can, you are capable...
Capable of making and shaping good kids...
The power of touch is wonderful...
Its indescribable and its just magic...

Someone from your life is so wonderful in the past, where has the glory go in the present?
We've changed...
Just let it be a dream... hopefully we both gain something out of it :)

2010-04-26T21:20:00.002+08:00

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

2010-04-25T22:13:00.003+08:00

Star awards ended...
Due to the school next day, i cant go...
Its such a pity to witness yvonne going up to the stage and receive her award.
But i screamed and called and cheered hard @ home as well :P

I literally scream when her name was called.
I was mad happy i tell you...
Yayayayay!!!
It such a happy ending...
On the verge of having a heart attack le lo...
If the club permit, i will go next year...
I will!! :D

Ohyeah, yvonnne you've got us!!
Hardcore fans that will cheer you on forever till we disappear from earth.
I will :D
Love you TTM!!
Continue the work hard and next year, it will happen again .
I am duper happy now...
Ohno, too excited for bed.
Yes!!
LIN XIANG PING FTW! <3

2010-04-24T22:11:00.003+08:00

My destination of the day ( 24 April 2010 )

I was first greeted by the swan lake located nearest to the entrance.

So sweet <3

Flowers:)

Family enjoying themselves...

Waterfall~

An unknown cat that couldnt possibly appear at botanic garden!

Both are dominating genes ok!

Its quite nice right! haha

Dont it look like clutching fingers? :O

Some interesting facts..

It looks like a volcano to me

Ice bergs?

Something that i certainly wont expect to see here...

Different colours of orchid:D

I've never seen a round flower.

Creative people vandalise on cactus!

Another thing i wont expect to see.. haaha

Sharp lily?

Favourite picture of the day!

The greedy swan that SWAM towards me when i sat at the edge of lake. and make noise when i dint have anything for it to eat! argh, shall buy you some next time la...

xinyi lim robert strawbolala lar!

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When i was younger, i was brought to this place a few times..
And never once i enjoyed the trip..
And i always thought the place is so dead and mundane...
But today, i love the place...

I made it there myself though i met many obstacles...
I walked myself though i may look very lonely...
But i enjoyed every second out of it...
I look at how people were enjoying themselves with their partners...
I see how beautiful the flowers bloomed...
I see the flowers that had wilted and felt a tinge of sadness...
I see the beautiful blue sky with trees on top giving its shape...
I see many things and i thought of many things.

I love the serenity and tranquility of the place.
I love the joy it had given me.
I love the scenery of the place.
I love the part where the place is used to preserve nature...

The sun may be scorching.
But without the bright glowing rays..
It will never complement the beautiful blue sky, the green grasses and the brightly coloured flowers.
The place will never be beautiful without a sun.
For once, i love the sun.

While walking through, many thoughts came to my mind.
Why are we going to places that offers luxurious stuff and forgo the nature?
Are we even giving nature a chance?
For once, we should slow down our pace and appreciate the things around us...
Just like the people we have with us right now...
They are people whom destiny are tied together with you..
And they are naturally in your life...
Instead of trying to find someone who you like more, why dont you just appreciate them?
You will never see beauty if you never see it with your heart...
we should... Or maybe i should...
Learn to show our appreciation to the wonderful people around us.
love them, care about them.
It never hurt you to give a word of concern or compliment...
We often take them too granted ...
Such that, we dont ask about their day daily... we dont ask if they are okay daily... we dont ask if they have eaten too...
We only ask when something happens..

We should abandon that and start asking everyday.
You might not have realised...
But every little concern you give, it could probably make someone's day.
Every moment you ask, is a form of bonding.
That will never tear you apart from the other party...
I will start from today, what about you?

2010-04-21T17:21:00.003+08:00

Siwon . Awwww, his dimples makes him even more charming <3

Lee hong ki: needless to say, after watching your beautiful, he is simply too cute!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am very much intimidated by you...
Right now, i am definitely sure that i need my personal space...
I dont like to be too close to one person cause i will feel uneasy in a sense...
I think i know whats the reason...
Just, i hope there is a distance between us...
And crossing over would mean that i need to deliberately distant myself...
I hope it wont happen...

Dont step any closer..
I need my space..
And i dislike being sticky to a person..
You are not the unique one...
sorry.

2010-04-20T16:12:00.004+08:00

While i was in school, It was the free period..
I went to the library for self study.

I was sitting at the table and suddenly a class came in...
They are not from express stream..
I have nothing against the other students unless they do things that irks me...
Just coincidentally, There is this boy who was being so rude and irritating..
When i heard sounds of books being hit, i turned around..
To my horror, i saw this boy hitting a girl with a book.
Oh my gosh, how could a guy do this to a girl?
they are from sec 3 and i think the guy should be gentleman enough...
he was looking around seeing if anyone or teachers saw his actions..
I merely just stared hard at him...
Hoping that he would be ashamed and stop his acts..
he still continued...
How irritating it is..
He is afraid of the teacher yet he still wants to bully his classmate...
This classmate of his is not someone i knew..
but i had deep impression of her..
I THINK she is not just normal like us ( i mean the mental state)
Its my guess...
I thought i saw the girl retaliating...
I think she was just playing with the guy..
But i thought the guy was just BULLYING her...
He took a book and hit her hard on her face and head...
It must have hurt...
yet when the teacher walked towards the table..
All the people at that table told the teacher that its the "she" who is being annoying...

What has become of the people nowadays?
I am in particular of mutual respect...
Who has the rights to triumph over the other?
No one....
Poor girl, i am sorry that i could not do anything to help you..
On the other hand, the guy should need to start knowing that he is totally immature...
Else he will suffer in future when he steps out into the society..
Cause i think he is just a coward trying to be funny...

I think its a class last in cohort...
I am not concerned as long as they behave like a human...
But with such behaviours... How easy is it not to view them "specially" ?
They should have done better.. trying their best to work out as a successor.. not towards failure..
It just pains me to see people being bullied by a group yet could not do anything..
And a group bullying a vulnerable feeling that it is funny without guilt...
So if it is like this now, what will happen to us the world in the coming 10 years? 20 years?
I am afraid to face that world...

but to be overly concerned with people's affairs aint too good as well..
Since i can do nothing about it, why not i just behave well like a human...
haha, i really felt angry not able to do things to help...
But, people will need to fall once to realise their mistakes..
So i hope the little boy will meet someone that will teach him well ...
All the best... :)

2010-04-19T19:29:00.003+08:00

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear of the noun, the God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear of the noun, the God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

--------------------------------------------------------------

This song sets me thinking and reminded me of another song by ronan keating.
" If tomorrow never comes"
We always live each day feel that its our rights ...
We will always leave things till tomorrow..
Is there even a day that you have not left anything undone and till tomorrow?
What if tomorrow really never comes..?
Will you regret and hated yourself for not completing the things you NEED to do...?
For those people like me who doesnt have much time left...
We needa save our butts by working hard each day living like our last moments...
So that even if tomorrow never comes, we will still smile and live through our last day..
Life is unpredictable...
We can never know whats coming next...
Why not just do something that will make the present moment seem as though its enough to just end it here... :)

2010-04-18T17:47:00.003+08:00

Hey ya!
I am back to blog about the spotlight of the week :D

Its about this lucky day where FNN has this flashpop event and they invited NAT HO to dance!!
Woah, its awesome...
I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Nat posing for other camera .

Nat is totally kawaiiiiiiiiii ! LOL

I am bored.

]
The place where the event took place.

Camwhore abit la...

Woke up at 630 for a jog !!
Went home and slacked till around 10 plus and went out...
Met the Naturals and waited for Nat...
The flashpop is totally awesome!!
Ahahah~
Till the next post, Ciao!! :)

2010-04-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

Random picture...

Being good studying :)

Pictures for the marathon event @ sentosa! :D:D

2010-04-17T18:54:00.003+08:00

I think i am not going to study hard.
And i dont mean i get lazy la..
I get my breaks too...

Every week i will find somewhere to go and share on this blog!
Somewhere interesting i hope :D
If you are reading, anticipate it...

my first trip would be exciting, cause its gonna be at a mundane place :

BOTANICAL GARDEN :D

2010-04-13T23:48:00.002+08:00

I am wondering...

If you still have bright future?
From the moment you have decided to step into this field..
You can no longer leave it..
Even though you are not in school anymore, you are running other events outside...
When will you ever stop multi tasking and concentrate in something that concerns much about you...?
I think you should hold a proper job ..
If you were to carry on with what you are doing now.
I feel that its a waste...
I know you surely will never ever get my point..
Cause you are so entrenched in this...
I dunno who would be the one to wake you up..
Definitely not me...
i dont hold such important positions...
But still, as an outsider, i see things clearest...
You are in the mode of self destruction now..
ruining yourself...

2010-04-12T18:07:00.001+08:00

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

Reforms.

2010-04-11T20:30:00.002+08:00

I want to make changes about myself...

I have decided, people around are so 'compromising'.
Its alright.. Just let them be...
So i shall remain quiet..
I shall keep most of the comments to myself..
I shall endure and tolerate...
I must refrain myself from flaring up.
Just be a piece of bockhead...
Though changes are made...
My principle will not change...
I will still do what i think is right...
still say what is right...
Still not give anyone face...
Not following the crowd...
But i am not going to voice out..
not that i've become a coward..
Its just that i see no point...
because people are just going to misunderstood it as unreasonable...
i will, i can persevere..

I looked back...
I was a happy girl...
i really WAS a happy go lucky person...
its social pollution...
Cause innocent people emerging from primary school would be affected in this corrupted and unfair society...
yeah...
gahhh, i am juz ranting ..

2010-04-10T01:32:00.001+08:00

I aspire to go to Paris and Venice in future when i can :D

2010-04-08T20:30:00.002+08:00

Actually ,

GORBACHEV is a good leader.
He led USSR well...
I meant that his ideas were on the right track.
He just lacked people's support and a bit of his ignorance.
Nevertheless, i feel that he could be said the best politician in Russia other than LENIN :)

And i like him TTM, sucha nice person !

2010-04-04T13:13:00.002+08:00

我们应该到一段落了。
Everything should come to the end.
该发生的也都发生了。
what needs to happen had already happened
是应该告别了，我虽有万分不舍，我也不能扭转整个结局。。。
its time to say goodbye, even though i am unwilling, but i cant reverse the outcome.
我自称已付出我全部，获得的仅仅是一个破碎的心。
i claim that i have given my all, but what i got in return is a broken heart.
但为了要安慰自己，我告诉自己说：至少我拥有了彼此可能会记得的回忆！
to comfort myself, i tell myself that at least i have memories that we both MIGHT remember with me...
我的脑子里，全都是与你一起度过的时光。
My mind is filled with the times we spent together.
有开心/窝心的；也有伤心难过的。。。
There are happy ones and sad ones.
但至少那些一起度过的时光将会永远存在，谁也不能带走它，抹去它。
But at least what had happened are eternal, no one can erase it away...
以后的事情，就听天由命吧。。。
The things that will happen in future, let us just let god decide...

2010-04-03T20:45:00.002+08:00

Hi world...
Today i am a joke...
Biggest joke ever in my entire life...

I went out for movie.. Because i felt frustrated ...
I went for movie...
Did many stupid things..
Such as stepping on board sign, pressed on the spoilt chilli dispenser...
then i lost my ezlink card...
Thats like ultimate....
ROAR...
went to find many places i've been to...
But to no avail...
Went to control station to ask for help...
They gave me a number to called to cancel my card..
And the time is alrd over...
My gooooood !
Why am i such a joker....

And when i chatted with the guy...
I thought a more in depth conver would bring us further...
But ....... i come to realised tt you have someone in mind....
how sad!! :(

Laugh at me..
Thank you for making my day bad...
I guess its the worst...
So heads up...
Be positive and nothing else can make a joke of out of me anymore! :)

2010-03-29T20:48:00.001+08:00

I am beginning to S L A C K E N !
What to do?!
time is pressing, i dont have much of a choice...
But my limbs refuse to carry out my orders..
My brain refuses to do what my heart tells it...

TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO BE MORE HARDWORKING?!

2010-03-28T20:10:00.003+08:00

heyheyheyhey,
its a sunday , and i slacked my day off.
Gahhhh..
so lousy!

Suddenly i was thinking..
How i hoped i would be born in a different family..
With every condition better..
Would my life be better?
I am talking about quality of my family...
But i was thinking,
if i were not me,
i would not have met and done everything i have done right now...
Its a half half...
Half good, half bad...
would i be better?

Maybe it would...
And right now, i think i am losing some of my friends ...
I am one that needs constant reassurance...
Cause i simply lacked confidence...
Yet, the people who used to back me up...
Are gone with the wind..
I can never have them back in my life..
And i really,
do miss them dearly...
I meant like, how i regretted not telling them that they are very important to me..
That they made a difference in my life...
I can never have them back, seriously...

I M I S S T H E M !
Hey bud up there,
please take care of them...

2010-03-27T19:42:00.005+08:00

Hey blog, i am back!

Today and yesterday, i spent about 16 hours with peeps at the motivational camp.
It wasnt motivating that one i am sure...
But it somehow made the classes bond...
Through this, they unleashed potential of classes we were used to seen the "not so good" ones..
But actually they were great...
A more intellectual class is boring yet excellent.
A less intellectual class is fun/ creative and definitely great!
I just want to say, stop judging the classes...
The top class doesnt mean the are the best...In academic, yes they are...
But there are graduates out in the street jobless, plentiful...
What makes the difference is your witty and creative way of handling matters..
It will impress people...
And yes, i am impressed by what class 4c had comed up with today...
But good thing about this programme is that it somehow made 4E bonded like hell...
I dint noticed of such spirits..
And of course, i am impressed by the unity of our class in times of competition...
But how long are we left with to spend time?
We will all be engaged in studies, and i believe such spirits might not be able to be seen ever again..
Though i hope what i said wasnt so true...
Somehow, that is reality..
Like what the leaders in the workshop said, good things never last; bad things dont last too..
Thats of a balance..
Happy yet sad...

To add on the words they said..
So what if good things never last...
For they had happened you must smile... Enjoyed what had happened...
For they had ended, be glad that they had once happened in your life before..
Things seldome come twice in your life...
If you miss it, you will not have another chance...
So if you are gonna groan and moan about the outcome, use the time wisely and enjoy every single minute out of it!
I believe its more practical... :)
Bad things dont last, things happening to us, just lift your head higher...
Build up the confidence in yourself... Tell yourself that you are able to do anything if you want...
"heads up, this is not the end! "
For you will notice, it has already passed...

Hey, this is something for you...
Now that you are in this state...
I think you made it sound worser, in fact you aint actually that bad...
BUt you have nobody to blame..
You chose to take the path, continue and not go...
Right now, i am seeing that you are going to be ruined by your so called love...
Its gonna hinder in your future prospect and hinder in your progress...
Its already time to go...
You've spent too much time on it..
And such that you are neglecting the things and people around you...
Knowing that you are not in the right state, you stil went ahead...
You should know of such consequences...
I think you are not responsible for yourself...
And i think thats extremely immature of you...
Wimp !

Haha, i am rather naggy and pensive today!
But its alright...
heh,
shall leave other thoughts for some other time! <3

2010-03-25T18:41:00.002+08:00

hey,
i dont uds man...
Whats wrong with saying out yr opinion...
whats wrong with voicing out?
As long as i am not influencing other people, not unreasonably commenting...
i dont see there is something wrong...
Unless i am groundless or baseless commenting, deliberately hurting one, thats wrong!
But i am not...
Different people have different ways of expressing myself..
I am sorry, but i was just being direct.
Straight to the point, not beating abt the bush...
If you cant accept it, you cant blame me as well !
Hello, thats yr own problem, you ARE suppose to be able to accept it..
Cause more will come in the future and hey, thats world!

In addition, due to this trait of mine, it makes me very disgusted with people who dont know, dont dare and even dontwant to voice out their opinions...
People might say that they are nice people who are compromising, reasonable or whatever...
But i think they are wrong...
They are just treating themselves badly...
No body would want to swallow grumbles... but now they are doing it, its bad to themselves in a sense..
The thing tt irks me the most is that why some are just behaving like a coward!
they dont DARE... they just dont...
I feel, they should learn to speak up for themselves..
Its a way of protecting one self...
And that i dislike people saying those cowards are very nice, compromising..
You guys are just blind... BLIND BLIND.
Gahhhhh, i just want to vent..
Just around me, there are so many this kind of people...
Which make me wonder, why must i fight so hard for them..
Why must i worsen my relationship with friends/ classmates for their sake
When they just need to sit down , shake leg and wait ...
And they benefits from it...
Aint this unfair?
tell me world, should i just shut up and never voice out anymore...

Buddy, daddy, my dear beloved god...
Please stop the clock...
At least for just 1 good minute..
I have yet to enjoy my sec sch life before its gone..
And i dont have time to enjoy a good minute from it..
there are juz too much things to be done...
Tell me, teach me, guide me...
to walk out of it...
To not think of the parting process at the end...
And love everything...
I have faith in you :)

2010-03-22T21:32:00.004+08:00

I came to realise...
That the decision made by me when i was in sec one...
Wasnt exactly right..
I cried about it most of the time,
but certainly, i did not regret it...

If i dint, i would be able to make it to meet such good bunch of people around me.
And many special sisters out there.
Thank you netball for enlightening and brightening my life for the 4 years...
Even though i sound like i am in hell most of the time, but no doubt i had my happy times as well..
I am sorry to not finish my whole journey, but i think i stopped at the peak right after my injury.
Those are not worthy to be mentioned.
Sorry to some, and thanks to all !

Hey bud, thank you...
I am sure you played a great role .
In this and in my entire life, no matter how hard is life..
No matter how i blamed you, you dont care.
Thats what i love you about the most.
Staying by me and watching me fall..
Most importantly, i will make you watch me soar !
<3>

2010-03-19T22:30:00.002+08:00

Hey people around me...
I just feel that you guys perhaps need intellectual development...
Why are some of you so superficial?!
Smiles, I guess meeting and overcoming setbacks is part and parcel of growing up.
I already knew mostly how to world works, just that i refused to show it...
Now i am even more sure, it certainly is corrupted.

2010-03-07T20:55:00.001+08:00

YAY, something worth to be happy about!
Even if i do not go hongkong at the end of the year, at least i know taiwan would be waiting for me.
Right now, i will scrimp and save for my Taiwan trip !
All in preparation.
Whether exterior, interior, i must get ready ~

I am super happy..
After so long, finally there is a trip worth to be excited about!

Gogogo, end this year GOOOOOOOD <33333333

2010-03-01T22:06:00.002+08:00

When me myself is in hot soup, i still extend and try to help others.
I hope my advices are useful or at least encouraging to you...
Everything will soon be over.
Like a rainbow after a rain.
You will be able to walk out and find your old confidence.
I have faith in you !
Deepest concerns to my dear brother.

2010-02-27T22:18:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Common test 1 is over.
One down, three more exams to the end of my school life.
Its pretty saddening...
But thats not the main point yea.
Main point is that i must cherish every chance i am given.
Do my best.
This time i am trying to spot questions, focus on subjects etc...
Thats no more such thing in future okie !

Right now, i am waiting for my results.
Hopefully those that i focused turns out good.
And the ones that i did not, is not that bad as well.
I cant change the fact if i did not do well...
But i must take this as a lesson learnt.
For not having sense of urgency when exams are approaching.
It teaches me not to procrastinate.
Lessons are always expensive !
So once is enough ~ :)

I will try my best, at the same time, i will not neglect my my play time as well :P

2010-02-21T21:41:00.003+08:00

I will set them right.
I will get it done by this week.
I will archieve what i want to...
Goodluck to me.

This week aint a smooth sailing week..
Or i should say a super NORT productive week.
And towards the end i receive news that are super heart wrenching.
Heart ache ( literally ) is a involuntary action...
Aiyoh, i told myself how long ago to not believe .
Dumbest me, pinned high hopes hoping that my efforts could be recognized...
See la! Now heart pain le right !
Long time ago,i posted, Efforts dont actually pay off all the time...
And recently i posted, Luck is ALWAYS not by my side...
See, this is what i mean the combination of both...
How unlucky can i be?
I gave in time and effort and money and pain.
In return, i got more more more more pain.
HAHAHA, aiyoh, super joke sia...
Ben dan sha gua zhu tou.
You should, look at a clearer picture...
Stop fantasizing, stop hoping..
Cause i will never happen, at least not in your whole lifetime...

:)
It taught me... to be stronger?
hahaha, i should thank both of you...
I believe i should be more focused le ba...
Girl, the pain will ease...
However the wound would leave a scar...
A scar with plentiful memories...

Tell me if its good alnot...
Why do we have so many time where we created memories,
yet i am so insignificant to you?
Hahaha, initiatives are almost all taken by me.
BEN DAN!
hahaha.
okok, its time to move...
move move move...
to far far away...
Throw away yourself..
Embrace another new you.
A brand new you is on the way.
Thank them, smile at them.....
And.... say goodbye :)

2010-02-19T23:26:00.002+08:00

Hey crazy ass...
You gotta wake up now..
Stop thinking that you have hell lot of time...
Luck is ALWAYS not by your side...
You have to adjust yourself...
If you continue to laze around.
You'll never enjoy in the coming decades...

Its a relaxing day.
I'll give it to you today.
You better start cracking and killing brain cells from tomorrow onwards.
Stop dreaming, you will never make big this way.

2010-02-16T12:05:00.004+08:00

Hey!
Happy new year!
These new year i did practically nothing.
But just slack and slack and still SLACK.

The best was yesterday , 2nd day of new year!
Went to my grandma house and proceeded to jereen's house...
played MJ, surprised her, steamboat, drinking session..
Most of us were gone... like me!! LOL
freaking 4 bottles of liquor .. 1 bottle of red wine, 1 bottle of white wine, 1 bottle of XO.
-.- , the super clique do stupid things!
LOL
Was fun overall although at the last part i wasnt really v awake..
I only rmb i laughed with weisheng super loudly
hahaha.
Had fun!!!
I do not have the study vibes leh...
Zen me ban!
hahahaa. its okie :P

2010-02-10T21:36:00.003+08:00

Whenever someone needs you, you'll have a name.
When they dont, you are just like an invisible man.
How reality could hurt one so much...

Most people who have at least done 1 thing remarkable or things that other people recognize..
Would think that they are so great..
thinking that they possess GREAT power and aura in them...
SO what if they come up with great philosophies?
They are perhaps useful and inspirational to others.
But its just merely bullshit to them...
They need to stop thinking that they are powerful, thinking that they can do things impossible...
They need to face the fact that they are just humans, just able to do things like normal people do..Stop telling me that you have power, you have aura..
Stop the crap, you dont have...
Stop thinking so much and lift your expectations THAT high.
Cause its impossible, ending up hurting yourself...
Please, i need to stop hearing to your tall tales..
So what if you have wondersome past?
So what if everybody treats you like god?
So what you have done things that makes you go WOW?
SO what and so what ?!
to me, you are just you.
A friend, that needs to be more realistic...
hello, you should wake up too...
DO things that you need, stop meddling into other people's affairs..
And stop talking shit. Your words are especially CHEAP.
you made none of your words come true...
Dont tell me cause you are you, you can do certain things.
stop sprouting nonsense...
Stop saying things that you are NOT going to do...
Leave, just leave...
You are not suppose to be here...
In fact, you should have been gone sometime back...
You need to lead your own life...
Dont make yourself so tired and blame it on others...
If it is so, you deserved it...

As for me, i need to leave too...
Lead my own life which could probably be more peaceful unlike a rollar coaster ride...
Wait till i get more settled, i think things would be fine...
yes, bab, i know we are no longer like how we were last year...
I missed those time but its now different...
remembering that change is the only constant, i lift my head up.
I tell myself, its okay, what needs to leave will eventually leave...
I shut my eyes and heal the pain.
When i open them, i will be fine :)

I did things that triggered my memory...
I miss those times and i really want them...
I want to continue playing..
If only i could turn back time, i wont...
I'll just grit my teeth and endure through...
But what if it dont turn out good? :)
Life is full of unexpected things...
We will never know until we tried..
Since i have made my stand, i will not change..
But i only want to say, actually i want to play.
Play like them, play like how i used to.
I cant stand people who think that just because they train longer, they are proud...
No, you are not that good, you are just arrogant...
And most of the time, you are the one who is the worst...
I am not trying to hurt anyone ... but its true...
I believe i can do better than you!
If we ever have a chance to compete , i will definitely beat you.
I dont see why, and i dont see things you are better in...

Its okay, those are past, those are history.
I will look forward and i will not miss any chance again.
Embracing tomorrow, giving up and healing.
You can do it, you can you can you can !

2010-02-07T13:52:00.003+08:00

its another sunday today.
Which means another end of a week...
I wonder, why do time pass by so fast nowadays...
remembering what just happened on last week's friday and poom!
Its sunday... 1 week and 2 days passed..
My god.
I should stop to procrastinate and give excuses...
My job now is to go according plan and get ready for my commontest 1.
But i give myself once a week to enjoy myself... :D

Yesterday caught toothfairy!
wheets, its a good movie...
I sincerely touched me and kinda inspire me...
I do not wish to be like "derrick" 1 character in the movie.
yesyes, i wanna be like " tracy" :P
he is cute lo!!
Had a very tired day yesterday...
But the movie was something to compensate everything!
heh.

commontest will be coming in 12 days...
I have to prepare... If i go according to plan, i dont have enough time!!
So please, do something about.
Stop slacking !!
Xinyi xinyi xinyi wake up wake up wake up!!

I learnt about something yesterday.
Haha, just some people are not worth our attention and concern.
So, stop wasting time and hoping they will change for the better...
That is something impossible.
Cause everybody's perspective is not the same.
I cant expect you to be like everybody around me.
So, i'll just give up give up give up!!

Have a nice day, its a new week tomorrow.
Dont waste yr bloody time :D
Gambate!

2010-02-04T21:56:00.002+08:00

Right now : porridge to perk me up, i am full and awake.
All the way and chiong ba!

Ok, i have nicely planned a few days of schedule...
I hope i will be good and follow..
Definitely it will help me and do me good...
Its just the matter of initiative..
And everything is up in the mind.
If i believe so, i have to do it.
I dont want to be someone who is living aimlessly..
I have my goals and beliefs...
So i will lead happening and useful life...
Dont be too slack.
Because before you realised, it will soon come.
Dont blink your eyes...

2010-01-30T17:07:00.000+08:00

我坐在窗前
望着窗外回忆满天
生命是华丽错觉
时间是贼偷走一切
七岁的那一年
抓住那只蝉
以为能抓住夏天
十七岁的那年
吻过他的脸
就以为和他能永远
有没有那么一种永远
永远不改变
拥抱过的美丽
都再也不破碎
让险峻岁月不能
在脸上撒野
让生离和死别都遥远
有谁能听见
我坐在窗前
转过头看谁在沉睡
那一张苍老的脸
好像是我紧闭双眼
曾经是爱我的
和我深爱的
都围绕在我身边
带不走的那些
遗憾和眷恋
就化成最后一滴眼泪
有没有那么一滴眼泪
能洗掉后悔
化成大雨降落在
回不去的街
再给我一次机会
将故事改写
还欠了他一生的
一句抱歉
有没有那么一个世界
永远不天黑
星星太阳万物都
听我的指挥
月亮不忙着圆缺
春天不走远
树梢紧紧拥抱着树叶
有谁能听见
耳际眼前此生重演
是我来自漆黑
而又回归漆黑
人间瞬间天地之间
下次我又是谁
有没有那么一朵玫瑰
永远不凋谢
永远骄傲和完美
永远不妥协
为何人生最后会像
一张纸屑
还不如一片花瓣
曾经鲜艳
有没有那么一张书签
停止那一天
最单纯的笑脸和
最美那一年
书包里面装满了
蛋糕和汽水
双眼只有无猜和无邪
让我们无法无天
有没有那么一首诗篇
找不到句点
青春永远定居在
我们的岁月
男孩和女孩都有
吉他和舞鞋
笑忘人间的苦痛
只有甜美
有没有那么一个明天
重头活一遍
让我再次感受
曾挥霍的昨天
无论生存或生活
我都不浪费
不让故事这么的后悔
有谁能听见
我不要告别
我坐在窗前
看着指尖已经如烟

搜索 "如烟"mp3
LRC歌词下载
我要打印

2010-01-28T21:16:00.003+08:00

to think back,

actually it do not matter who the person is, as long as a concern is genuine, they sound all the same and they work just as effective. Only if they are genuine.
For the past few days, i received many genuine concerns and a few that i seem to detect them as hypocritic concerns.
They all made my day and brought me a smile eventually...
It always sound best when you need them, but when we dont, we always fail to appreciate them.
We always care when something is wrong, why dont we care when nothing is wrong.
But just that we give a little concern that will make someone's day...
In normal life, ask yourself if i care...
If nothing happen, do i care so much for my friends...?
Why must we wait for something to happen then we show them?

Can we people take some initiative to love the people around you.
Many a times, when people have suicidal thoughts , its always a random concern that saved their lifes...
Have you thought that you might just saved a life unknowingly?
haha, in life we dont think of such possibilities...
Who would guess and predict that your friend will commit suicide later...
But people tend to hide their true feelings in order not to disturb people or even worry them...
And this kind of situation is the most worrying one!

So, today i tell myself i want to cheer people up.
But i wont hide my feelings.
When i am angry, i stare.
When i am sad, i cry.
When i am happy, i behave crazily.
When i am mono, i will still give your a smile.
I hope i can brighten people's day
and somehow i believe, my life would be brightened as well :)

P/s : A hug works the best... I had two... and its really effective.

2010-01-27T21:25:00.002+08:00

i have reached a cross road, unable to decide which path to take.
I am stuck in dropping or retaking my amath...
it has always been a problem for me since last year...

I do not have any interest in it...
yet i have to take it for my subject combinations in future...
"Life is not always that smooth-sailing "
Thus i have decided to give it a "try" .
I know i will face stress in future...
definitely much more other can imagine.

I am not sure if i can hold on to it till my O.
But in the meantime, for the sake of those people who believed in me, encouraged me...
I will try ...

P/s : thank you two so much for being there when i broke down...
Your words and action of encouragement really matter a lot.

light remains buried below the surface of the person others see in us

2010-01-25T22:36:00.002+08:00

Many people tend to not show their true feelings and emotions when in the presence of other people. This may be due to several reasons: They refuse to express their feelings and would rather keep things to themselves because they are afraid that their friends might tease them; they don’t want other people peeking into their business, interfering with their lives, and saying things that might offend them; they have low self-esteem and tend to be very sensitive towards what others think about them; or their personality and character that has developed over the years might have made them become the way they are now.

We tend to believe that we know our friends very well, but to what extent do we actually know them? Are we close enough to know every single detail about them? More often than not, we don’t know everything about our friends. Some may choose to hide their feelings away from their peers because they don’t want them to be involved; they don’t want to show others their “weak” points, they want others to see them as “strong” and “able to deal with problems.” Or perhaps it is because they prefer dealing with their own problems themselves, they don’t want help from others and are rather independent.

However, is hiding your true self a good thing? You hide your feelings, your emotions, your thoughts behind a mask that covers you so that other people around you see the mask instead of the “real” you. Don’t you feel tired having to put on this “mask” every single day? I know I do. At times I have really wanted to throw this “mask” away and show everyone the “real” me. But, I didn’t. I was conscious of what people might think of me. “What’s with her sudden change?”, “She’s probably trying to get attention,” “Have you noticed who-and-who have changed a lot? I don’t know why she did that.” But of course, all of these are just my speculations. I have yet to encounter the real thing and I’m already afraid to make a step forward.

Am I lacking in self-confidence? Am I afraid of changes? Am I just conscious of what bad things other people might say about me? Perhaps these are the reasons why I refused to be who I truly am. How did all these feelings and thoughts come about? Is there a reason why I’m behaving and thinking this way? Maybe yes, or maybe no. Whatever the reasons might be, it’s always good to sit down and reflect on yourself once in a while. You may ask, why bother with this so much? Why not spend the time on something else more productive?

Maybe I just want to know more about myself first before knowing more about the people around me. There’s no harm in that just as long you think it does you good one way or another. As they say, before you can help other people with their problems, you need to help yourself with your own first.

2010-01-24T12:28:00.003+08:00

its been a month since i posted.
yeah, its almost a month since school started...
everything is alright i guess, its just stress that teachers are piling on us.
but i dont feel anything.
As compared to the classmates' stress, those are nothing.
This year, its only the start of year and everyone's chiong-ing le lo...
i mean like its kind of early... 10 months to go...
i think if i were to start now, i will give up somewhere in august...
So i shall keep on my own pace.
Do my homework, as theres a saying that doing homework wont fail exams...
I shall do some revision when i feel like...
and when the time ripes, intense revision , here i come.

meanwhile, i will play hard and juggle well first...
I know i will be deprived of fun at around april...
So i shall play hard now and love my school.
hahah, so that i wont die of studying.

Recently , i wonder...
what are the mindsets of some people around me...
It seemed as if it is so hard to catch.
I dontknow how am i going to treat them...
And i wonder what am i thinking.
i am searching high and low to find my true self...
But i seem to forgot how i used to behave and lived...
i think i have lost myself completely...
i am definitely sure who i am now is not the xinyi that came in 3 years ago...
excluding the maturity part...
the part on communications, on being so happy
who i am now...
people tend to mask themselves because of the society...
because of the people around them...
but i am sick of who i am now...
can i go back to the real me, the one who came in to the school 3 years ago?
because when i shut my eyes, i can no longer tell what is happiness...
yes, its been so long since i really felt that consistently...

2009-12-26T18:48:00.002+08:00

hey.
a post whilst i'm bored.
its boxing day today.
heh, such a cute name.
this few days was slackish for me..
slept and watch tv whole day long.
such a long time never had such time to do this kind of things le...
and soon i also dont have the time as well..
school would start maybe 1 week later.
argh, homework all undone.
i am dead i am dead.
but its alright. LOL
i shall conserve energy.
AND DIE LATER -.-

Heh, thats utterly rubbish , but i wont attempt to rush my homework.
LOL. super slackish.
I am unwilling to let go of 2009.
huh... i am sad sia...
though its not exactly a fabulous year for me...
but its not too bad as well...
in a blink of eye, 2010 will come...
i will turn 16 and sec 4...
i will leave the school and pursuit further studies...
and i am not sure if i have the heart to still continue to study hard.
i am not sure if i can pass my Os next year.
sigh , how demoralising yea
i refuse to leave...
i really dont want to leave yet i have to.
argh, such irony.
grrrr
i'll meet more people out there and face more troubles created.
but these are part and parcels of life...

what sentimental stuff am i writing.
LOL, such a bore...
i wanna enjoy my last week of hols before i recharge fully to face my upcoming challenging year out there..
gambate XINYI:D

2009-12-10T23:19:00.003+08:00

Its been so long since i blogged..
I guess theres hardly one reading now.. but its okay, i'll post it anyway :)

2009-11-04T23:25:00.002+08:00

Can it be helped that the wound of losing that person hurts you greatly?
Are tears streaming from the wound instead of blood?
This unrelenting pain is probably eating you away inside.
The cry of pain has probably become a wail.

As long as you are you, you will have this pain in your heart.
However, and this is important, in time you can get accustomed to this pain.
This pain is proof that you are you.
This pain is proof that you loved that person.
Accept the pain as pain, and live through it.

Of course, you need not follow after your loved one to prove the depth of your love.
The proof is in your heart.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cry, cry and cry...
Tears are there to protect your heart.
When tears finally run dry, your heart will be calm and quiet.
Feeling clear inside,
You will be left with the transpicuous sense of being blessed with life.
So, look for beautiful things around you,
And you will find a hope, a hope to move on.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although fate is a cruel thing,
There is much love and beauty still left in this world -
It is not such a bad place to live after all.
When your eyes are all dried up
And you can cry no more,
You are there face to face with life.
That's when your senses are cleansed of all worldly filth.
That's when you start seeing a whole new meaning in everything you encounter.

Look for beautiful things,
And you will find something.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorrow and pain only affirm the depth of your love.
Suffering and loss only affirm your devotion to life.

If you confront these emotions head on, your body and heart may become exhausted.
At times, everything may become intolerable.

Are you now living helplessly dreaming your life away?
Do you think you can no longer start your own life over?

That is not so. As long as you are yourself and you feel discontent in your life,
you can start over. As long as you continue to judge yourself this way so highly
in your heart, you are really the same as you were in the past.

Empower your real self.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the end of the day,
The sun will fade and everything becomes one big shadow.
But the sun did not die,
It has simply gone to the other side of the earth.
There, the sun is shining and giving light and warmth upon every blessed soul.
Your loved one, just like the sun, has simply become invisible to your eyes.
There is a world which we cannot see.